Thinspiration

I used to smile pink
And frown a gentle blue.
My eyes would sparkle gold
And my toes would twinkle, too.

Now, I no longer smile pink
And my frowns are navy blue.
My eyes pierce jet black
And my toes are stuck with glue

What happened to the child
I once used to be?
Why am I now
Who never was me?

I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
But I try my best for all.
I just wanted to prove my beauty
And hold my head up tall.

I just want to be beautiful.
Starving myself is an addiction.
I want to release my pain,
So I use self affliction.

But no one will listen.
Sometimes, even I wont.
I try to make them understand,
But they just don't.

Your words
Caused me pain.
But I will warn you,
I will reign.

*won't

Also - the last line. . . it just. . . sorry, but it doesn't work.

The beginning was cute, though

Firstly-- very intriguing name. It sounds German but I don't know if I would bet on it.

Secondly, some of the lines--

The first two paras had some good images, but just that. Just good. I really like the toes stuck with glue image, there's something about that part between the toes. It has ancient ritual significance too. Try and aim at those shady things more.

"Why am I now
Who never was me?"

Very badly phrased (the above). This is why they tell us not to rhyme too much. Rhyme is real good. It's fun for all. But it's also deceptive and untruthful sometimes because it forces you to say things you don't want to or say it in a way you don't want to (like the above). So do rhyme, but also try it without rhyme once in a while. It'll sound all kooky at first but you'll get a hang of it. You can rhyme whenever you like, but it takes something to do free verse better.

"I just want to be beautiful.
Starving myself is an addiction.
I want to release my pain,
So I use self affliction."

That's a relatively nicely put verse. But if you ask me you could have done it much better if you had simply stuck to the idea in your head and not rhymed it up into something else. True, you said what you wanted to, but it doesn't sound as good as it could have.

Right. I don't like the title. Never really liked those portmanteau words too much. I think most would agree on that account. But then again, it fits the poem. I'll be frank-- you had something going, but it didn't really kill me. If you're posting a poem for others to read, you have to think about what they think. I can't say how anorexia feels like, but I would like to know. This poem tries to, but it falls a little short. Isn't there something more you could tell us in just as many words?

I'm sure you could do much better and I hope you won't grudge my ramblings. Thanks for the read and keep writing,

The Plant.

it was nice. ends rhyme well, flow is fine.. but the last stanza isnt much strong, i suggest you remove it. the beginning is nice and shows the feelings of a changed person beautifully

This was a very well written piece of poetry, I have to say, but there are some things that you should perhaps think about.

The first stanza was very powerful and thought-invoking, but the last one... Needs some work.

The rhyming scheme was a little difficult to understand at first, but I eventually got it.