Sohma House

Yeah...in another Fruits Basket rut. Sorry, but not looking for really serious/specific crits here, just needed to get this out of my system.

Full of dark rooms
Full of shadows,
Pain, and memories
Lost amidst unspoken screams.
Full of loneliness
And absence
Of every form of light or laughter.
You are the lair of one who
Never learned to love or smile,
Never learned but how to hurt.

Ornate and beautiful you stretch
Silent and sleeping over the rolling green
Of land that lies dead beneath your
Wrought, exquisite weight.
Like a song set to music
Lovely, long and sad
With words that only ever
Fill the heart with pain.

You shield one too long shielded
From every form of light or laughter
From every hint of common kindness
From all the things that help to heal
The wounds
So long ago inflicted
But never closed, but never cured.
Never mended, always open
Bleeding drops of life away.

Deathly quiet, living frozen
Inside the whims of one who calls
Another man eternal winter
But hides a colder season deep beneath
The exquisite, flawless face that
Hides a colder sin from warmth.

I love this sad poem
i 'm not sure what its about but then again i wasn't reading it prorperly
charlotte
xxxx

I don't really get what this poem is about.

Is it meant to be a safe house or something?
I think you need to be a bit more discriptive with it.

Lozareth

please note: the poem will make practically no sense if you don't know the backstory. sohma house is where Akito...lives. if it can be called living. Akito is........not what I'd call nice.

Very sad, very good.

One small crit--

" but never closed, but never cured,
never mended, always open"

You could probably take out one or the other of those two lines. It seemed too repetitive.

Great work

Wow i can smell your sadness. Sounds like you were really hurt. Personally, i think its a great piece full of emotion, i guess your wrote it fresh with hurt and pain. Or something like that. Personally, i think the poems that dont make sense (IM NOT SAYING THAT YOURS DONT) are confusing. Although they are filled with nice descriptors and all, the readers dont get the writer, so there's no point. 'Cos judging from the replies, we can all see you were sad, but dont really get the specifics. Yeah i know, you just needed to get it out of your system. haha. Write on!

I have never watched the show before, so
I don't get half of this poem. It is quite well
written.
It could have been better...I think...Maybe. xD
And aren't poems supposed to ryhm...? I may be wrong
on that but I think they are supposed to ryhm. x3 Dunno.

Locked at author's request.