They say no. Well I say yes.

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They say that you are just a child.
They say that you don't know enough.
They say that you are not experienced.
They say that you are not ready.

I say we are.
I say we are intelligent.
I say we are creative.
I say we look at situations differently.
I say we have had different life experiences.

We will cooperate.
We will learn.
We will prosper.

We are ready.

And we are here.

So world, step aside.
It's our time to find a place in this world.

And it's not because we have to.
It's not even because we should.
But because we have the power to.
SciFi Girl :) Twilight luvr!




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Hm, I kinda like this.

I like the voice and the tone that is evident throughout the piece. It definitely goes well with the message you are trying to convey-- a "child" growing up, ready to find their own place in the world and then the "adult" reluctant to hand down his torch.

It's not a bad start to what would make a really neat poem if you would experiment a little further and add more depth. Adding in more imagery (such as the passing of the torch xP) or metaphors or any sort of literary device would do wonders to this.

My biggest criticism is that the poem as it stands right now is really repetitive, which hinders it. I would experiment by moving around some things a bit. For example:

They say that you are just a child.
They say that you don't know enough.
I say we are intelligent.

They say that you are inexperienced [much better rhythm and not quite as repetitive].
They say that you are not ready.
I say we are.

Doing it this way is more dramatic and puts more emphasis because it directly compares "they say" -- "I say" in the same stanza. (I would leave out the 'look at situations differently/different life experiences' just because it is weak compared to the rest of the lines, and it totally fusses up the rhythm.) x(

OR you can experiment with style and sentence structure ;D

They say that you are just a child.
You don't know enough.
You are inexperienced.
Unprepared. [as opposed to 'not ready' yccckkk]


I say we are capable.
We are intelligent.
We are creative.
I saw we can handle this.

I dunno ;o See what you can come up with! Try to use this as the backbone and move things around, cut things out, say it aloud, add things in -- experiment! Add a little more spice to your writing, it's easy and it's fun to do. You'll be surprised with what you can come up with.

I hope I've helped.

~ Audy



something about rain makes you want to be in love
— canopy