Nonsensical

Why do we do what we do,
the way we do it?
This universal feather becomes
almost dead to us.
Cris-cross our lines entirely,
but keep far back.
Shake up the perfect system,
create our own corruption.
Gorge into the eyes of hate,
yet love all there is to.
Take part in the war,
still do not kill.
Slay the unknown rightfully,
when it does not exist.
Draw life in neon purple,
when you see it in grey.
Hold me very close,
when you're so faraway.
Love me tenderly,
when I like it rough.
Dance beneath the stars,
in the noon hour.
This is all the sense we can make
together.

I must admit, that was a lot more intelligent than I expected glancing at the title.

At first I was confused as I started out reading, but the poem's kinda like a rollercoaster; it starts building up, and when the drop comes, it's unstoppable. That's pretty much the best description I can come up with that fits this poem. It started out a tad flat, but by the ending I was greatly impressed. The only thing is that you should be careful and keep an eye out for typos; I think I see two in here that are easily fixed once you see them.

Otherwise I was glad I read this. It was great.

Very...Philosophical I couldn't stop laughing at
"Love me tenderly,

when I like it rough."
XD This just cracked me up. I LOVE the impact that leaving "together" on it's own in the last line creates. Well Done!

Why do we do what we do,

the way we do it?
##The opener is poor and little bit jarred.

This universal feather becomes

almost dead to us.
##I do not understand this.

Cris-cross our lines entirely,

but keep far back.

Shake up the perfect system,

create our own corruption.

Gorge into the eyes of hate,

yet love all there is to.

Take part in the war,

still do not kill.

Slay the unknown rightfully,
## Not sure about "rightfully," weak in comparison to "slay."
when it does not exist.

Draw life in neon purple,
##Fab image!
when you see it in grey.

Hold me very close,

when you're so faraway.

Love me tenderly,

when I like it rough.

Dance beneath the stars,

in the noon hour.

This is all the sense we can make

together.

## The list that comprises the rest of the poem is colourful and nice to read. I like the contrasts and how the structure mirrors that. Your final line falls flat. I can see you are attempting a philosophical end yet we are just left with "so what?" I think more is needed at the end to tie it all up rather than "together" which doesn't really have much meaning as it is.

This one is a bit different which is why I like it. "Draw life in neon purple" is a great image. You have a poet's hand, now you just need to refine that skill in this particular work.

this piece was too good for my mere desciption.it was written with a knowledge and acceptance greater than i could ever have known.i like everything about this poem.it's written in the same style that i would use but also is very different than the style i would use.the characteristics of this poem are describeed in a way above my knowledge and ability.i am very impressed and after reading this poem for the first time am looking forward to being a lifelong fan.

I am more than pleased and THANK YOU to all of my reviewers, all of these were my best reviews yet! Thank you times a ba-jillion, thousand! This poem meant a great deal to me (and my significant other) and the fact that it's words are lovely to more than just us means so much.