No Excuse

Though the world be so cruel,
Though the world be so wrong;
'Tis no great excuse
To no longer be strong.

Though all hope may have vanished,
All's in vain it may seem;
'Tis no great excuse
To no longer dream.

Though all men have no goodness,
All are selfish and rude;
'Tis no great excuse
To join their dull brood.

Though all life may be hopeless,
And all love be gone;
'Tis no great excuse
To pronounce your life done.

And when all the world crumbles,
And life lies in waste;
Make it your reason
To win over Fate.

Your writing is nice and to the point, even if this is rather clichéd... In the fourth stanza, last line you've added an unnecessary apostrophe so correct that type but other than that the only thing I can suggest is to try to adpopt a less rigid metre next time, maybe keep the rimes but dish the structure... I'm not sure.
Keep Writing ! x

okay well the rythm was a bit strange, and it didnt flow really unless you concentrate on saying it right, but thats the only critique i have.

otherwise i really liked this poem. i just got done reading a dumb poem about suicide, and this is a HUGE relief like i just took a nice deep breath. its so much more hopeful


"Though the world be so cruel,

Though the world be so wrong;

'Tis no great excuse

To no longer be strong."


this was my favorite stanza. like seriously it makes me really happy, like i want to put in on facebook under "favorite quotes" or something. its absolutely true, and although its easier said than done (as we all know) its just something that everyone in hard circumstances should think about. i dont know. i just liked it.

so yea, wonderful poem, thank you for the good read

i really like this;
my favorite part of this just happens to be,

And when all the world crumbles,

And life lies in waste;

Make it your reason

To win over Fate.



i enjoy your writing.

Er... I edited the typo.

Thanks to all who reviewed.

This poem struck me more as an old European hymn to courage or virtue or something like that...

I liked its overall message and its composition was good but in all the work could have been done with possibly a bit more flair, stronger wording, maybe.

Anyways, aside from those, this was a good read, for me anyways.

Keep it up!

Wow...

I see you've been "critiqued" for being cliche, but there's a sincerity and...I don't...skill to your word use and structure that brings the work to a whole new level. You have evident intent while beautiful control and flow, not many have this sense.

I realize this poem was likely written a long time ago, but I was curious as to the nature of your writing. You're an excellent writer, as I'm sure you're well aware. You have, my dear, entranced me.


PaperMoon