I Just Saw a Face

I JUST SAW A FACE

When the moonlight shone
And the dreams floated around
Someone was singing
And I was falling in love

When I saw your eyes
Everything in me was there
As I smiled at you
My world flooded with light

Chorus:
How can I explain my heart
Why do I keep smiling
Does everything seem this clear
Could it be I could be bewitched
‘Cause I just saw a face
And I fell in love

In your eyes, I saw every color
Explain to me what I feel
Help me understand how this can be
Make me grasp the truth of my smile

Chorus:
How can I explain my heart
Why do I keep smiling
Does everything seem this clear
Could it be I could be bewitched
‘Cause I just saw a face
And I fell in love

Bridge:
I just saw a face
I just saw your eyes
I want to hold you tight
Breathe with your heartbeat
And never let go of you

Chorus:
How can I explain my heart
Why do I keep smiling
Does everything seem this clear
Could it be I could be bewitched
‘Cause I just saw a face
And I fell in love

I just saw your face
And I fell in love with you

deafwriter_19 wrote:Chorus:
How can I explain my heart
Why do I keep smiling
Does everything seem this clear
Could it be I could be bewitched
‘Cause I just saw a face
And I fell in love

you're asking for help to explain your feelings and yet you say something seems clear? hmm. that's confusing.
also, i don't see any particular rhyme scheme here. songs usually have a rhyme scheme, 95% of the time. try rewording some lines here and there.

Hiya Ross! June here!

I take ages, don't I? I promised you I'd review this, and I haven't gotten around to it 'til now.

Anyway! Let's have a look at this song:

So! I think it's a great song, dear, very sweet and cute . The second verse is a itty-bit short, considering the length of your chorus. I can't tell what speed this is to be sung at; if it's slow, then perhaps your second verse is fine. But! It's looking a little short, almost as if the chorus is sang twice in a row. Though it isn't, I just think it needs more spacing or something like that? XD


Overall, pretty good song. Keep it up!

June

I understand, at 15 I felt in love like this… it’s a great song to be you’re first one, great job. Well a tip, it looks like you are asking questions without the “?”
For example
How can I explain my heart
Why do I keep smiling
Does everything seem this clear
could it be I could be bewitched

I think this should be like that

How can I explain my heart?
Why do I keep smiling?
Does everything seem this clear?
Could it be I could be bewitched?

But anyway, great song