why do we do it to ourselves?

the secret glances that we swopped
across a crowded room filled with the smell
of teenage hormones and suicide attempts
we're an uneven pair in an uneven world
and nothing will ever change that.

and if we fail
one of us will carry on regardless
and the other will pump themselves full of sadness
and exsanguinate pointless emotions
that nobody will clear up

yet we sit her in our peaceful inaction
and let the days pass and the moments pass
without a care, because we are satisfied in our
wishful existence and wait for the things we want most
to fall into our lap without sight or sound.

we dream about being the people in love songs
and part of the perfect romances of hollywood
but a little part of our mind reminds us that this is
modern-day suburbia and all our fantasies
have already be destroyed and forgotten, by bombs
and war and politicians and everything we should never have seen on tv.

sometimes hiding behind friends and finding any excuse
to walk away and use our memories rather than our eyes
reminds of us of that sweet idyllic childhood
and it makes us content

and then we have to start all over again.

This is very, very good. The only thing I had a problem with is the last sentence. All the other stanzas seemed very strong to me, and that ending was just a tad weak. I didn't think it related to the rest of the poem very well.

across a crowded room filled with the smell
of teenage hormones and suicide attempts

I loved those lines. They were a little awkward sounding, but I think that worked in favor of this piece, because it's obvious that this love, or whatever you might call it, is a little bit awkward.

and war and politicians and everything we should never have seen on tv.

This line is a little long, but it sounds fine. You might want to break it up or maybe take out an "and" to make it read more smoothly.

I always enjoy reading your poetry, and I think this is one of my favorites.

-Sarah [/quote]

good question, why do we.

i agree with Sarah, last line of the 4th stanza seems rather long.

I don't really like the last line of the first stanza, it doesn't feel quite right to me..

Love the 4th line of the secondstanza

First line of the 3rd stanza, did you mean here?

I also agree that the last line is a bit lackluster (er, lacklustre, as Jack has informed me it should be spelled)

A little lengthy and in a strange way kind of boring. However, it had a good point. Finally, something I understand.