Second Summer - Summer Ain't No Reality Part II

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NOTE: If you haven't already read it, I would encourage you to read this:
forum/viewtopic.php?t=1377&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=summer+aint+reality
before reading the following poem.

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second summer of everything
a new job by the ocean
you sell hotdogs to the tourists
while smiling at surfers

your buick looks lonely
in its faded burgundy
surrounded by white jeeps and
million dollar cadillacs
in the beach parking lot

the cage is unlocked and
20 turns to 10.
you can hardly see the sun
that's painted in the west

they quickly whisper in your ear
what no southerner wants to hear

summer is not reality and
huge hotels and cadillacs
aren't worth chasing after.
you're an alabaman
too close to the ocean

and only we know know
the reality of summer
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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oh gosh...please...someone...could you please comment on this???
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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Hmm...
I like it.

the cage is unlocked and
20 turns to 10.
you can hardly see the sun
that's painted in the west

I love this stanza.

they quickly whisper in your ear
what no southerner wants to hear

I don't like this one so much, maybe because it rhymes and nothing else does. It might be better if you added it to another stanza instead of having it by itself.

and only we know know
the reality of summer

I love this one, great ending. Are there supposed to be two knows? Great either way.

The first poem was beautiful too. Great job!
Siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia,
tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre,
la sangre de tus venas en mi boca,
tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte.

-From 'Del amor imprevisto', Federico Garcia Lorca




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BlackDaisy wrote:
and only we know know
the reality of summer

I love this one, great ending. Are there supposed to be two knows? Great either way.


Yeah...it's supposed to they're the ones who are supposed to know. Perhaps I should put it in quotations.

But thank you so much for commenting on this.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.



You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.
— Anne Lamott