Street Lamp

Outside, a pool of light in the darkness-
cast by a solitary street-lamp-
orange-bright, illuminating
the stop sign at the end of the road.
Four faint white letters:
S T O P.
Above, the floating, fiery head of light.
A sentinel of sorts, head bowed to the darkness,
resigned to fulfill its duty and then fade, forgotten, in the morning
when the sun relieves it of its post.

Hello, I'm Colt, and I must say, sweet poem!

Welcome to YWS! As I said in your other thread, members must keep a two review to one critique ratio.

I liked it, but I would have added to it.

Things were described well too...

I don't know if it's better, but I would have wrote S T O P. like this:

S
T
O
P

That gets my attention more. <.<

I'm just weird though. -_-

The grammar looks fine too...bravo!

-Colt

Hey Boz! Welcome to YWS! I'm June, and I'm going to run over this for you .

I absolutely love this type of poetry! (Found poetry, is it, I believe?) It's centered around something so common that everyone can relate to. The audience is almost always able to feel some type of connectivity with the poem.

Here are my only corrections:

Outside, a pool of light in the darkness-

Twice in this poem, dear, you use a hyphen (-) instead of a dash. You used the hyphen correctly when you wrote street-lamp; a dash is two hyphens (--) or, a dash; (▬)

S T O P.

And this! XD I know, it sounds silly for me to point this out, but I don't like the usage of the period there . It's too... blah? XD Stop signs have no periods on them, so! I think that you should leave it without.


I wish there was more I could say about this, Boz, but there isn't! I love the structure you used here; it created a peculiar rhythmic pattern throughout.

Well done! Gold star for you!

(Keep it up, and I look forward to more poetry by you!)

June

I think this poem is great.

A sentinel of sorts, head bowed to the darkness,

that was my favorite line. I am a little confused what the sentinel is doing though. I liked it anyway though.

If you want my opinion on the word stop. You could put a . (period) between each letter like this:

S.T.O.P.

But that is if you want your reader to read each letter as if it is on its own. Instead of actually reading the world stop.

Alrighty. Keep writing! I enjoyed this peace.