Lordgluzmans biography song (Rap)

Many people that commented on my metal and rock songs told me to try something new. After couple of days I actually made a rap song! But it's not a type of rap where people say drugs are good or killing is good, this song is about my biography.

This rap song is about my biography
No ain't those show offs that film in pornography
As I was saying this song is about my life
Went through like a bad ass knife
Let's start from the day I was born
That night Lord blew his horn
I was driving my mama crazy
As a child I was not sweet like a daisy
After time I left to school
It ain't wasn't cool
My teacher was a redneck
One description, heck
He enjoyed tormenting me
Matter of fact he was a racist to the black homie G
So I left that fool
I entered in the ISV school
We've got lots of awesome guys over here
If you mess with them you will live in fear
For example Emanuel
He ain't those mothers that hang out near Taco Bell
But I am not who you think I am
I hate drugs
I can't stand dirty thugs
But I love my life
I love moral and justice...

lordgluzman wrote: This rap song is about my biography
No ain't those show offs that film in pornography <-- XD
As I was saying this song is about my life
Went through like a bad ass knife
Let's start from the day I was born
That night Lord blue his horn <-- I still feel it my job to review any language work. Blew, not blue XD
I was driving my mama crazy
As a child I was not sweet like a daisy
After time I left to school
It ain't wasn't cool <-- Ain't wasn't? I'm not too familiar with the structure of rapping. You're allowed to put in random words?
My teacher was a redneck
One description, heck
He enjoyed tormenting me
Matter of fact he was a racist to the black homie G <-- Ehehe, you lost me there. That's one long singular description dude.
So I left that fool
I entered in the ISV school
We got lots of awesome guys over here <-- *gasp* Bad english comes with rapping but, it should be 'We've' got lots of...etc.
If you mess with them you will live in fear
For example Emanuel
He ain't those mothers that hang out near Taco Bell <-- Eh, that's kind of obvious that HE isn't a mom.
But I am not who you think I am
I hate drugs <--Good, neither can I.
I can't stand dirty thugs <--Excellent.
But I love my life <-- Bravo. nice to know.
I love moral and justice... <-- Ditto.

*laughs* Well, that was interesting!
Didn't exactly tell me too much though. And after joining YWS, I keep having the impulse to correct wrong language, so sorry about all my nit-picky comments XD

~Have a nice day!
[Nope, I don't have anything against rapping (its a form of creative artistry, after all). Just incorrect language ]

Edit: AHAHAHA!!! *laughs hysterically*
I thought this was posted in the 'About The Authors' forum, until I saw that my review count increased by one. Oops ._.

Thanks! Actually your comment made me laugh hysterically especially this part:

I hate drugs <--Good, neither can I.
I can't stand dirty thugs <--Excellent.
But I love my life <-- Bravo. nice to know.
I love moral and justice... <-- Ditto.

Thank you again! I did the corrections.

Great! Let's all laugh hysterically together!
*laughs hysterically*
*gets sent to mental asylum*

AIGHT YA REAL HOMIE G HUH NICE ONE !

hahaha

*laughing hysterically*


Wow, that was hilarious. The reviews on this are interesting
So yeah Gluzman, my friend, nice work!

I agree with Meep though, it doesn't say a whole lot about you. But that's okay, it was entertaining Although, if you added another verse that said more about you, then I'd consider it to be a biography of your life. Otherwise it's just a very vague piece when it comes to relating it to the title.

Good job, keep it up
-thevoiceinside

I actuallyhad a little fear that you guys would not like this. I am actually really glad about this. But as you can see rap is not my style, Death Metal, Metal, Thrash Metal and Rock is.