The Logic of God and the plight of man

(yo, if you're atheist please don't shoot me
yo if you're religious please don't burn me
yo if you're bored please go read something else
yo if you're interested please comment)

don't take this too seriously, I just got this off the top of my head
so I wrote it right here right now on the spot in like 4 min. tops....


the actual work is just below, I made this so readers would under stand
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out in the center of existence
slept the all of everything, the Alpha Omega Alpha

GOD
upon his awakening
The universe exploded into existence and activity
in one BIG BANG.

from then on the universe continued to expand and grow
as God continued to expand grow

with time
God in his consistent Logic
and capricious wanting

naturally sought to grow is every way possible
in identity
in reason
in purpose
and most of all, in influence

in order to do that
he needed spread to himself over into a new frontier

but having power over everything

he needed something to have influence on,
so he created it.

he began with heaven, a tangible plane unto which he would
situate himself.

then the angels
extension of his body and power
with the ability to reason
same as he did

one of them however
computed of his own free will
to destroy God, and replace him

God
unable to destroy an extension of himself
alienated this defective offspring.

so God continued on creating this new frontier
by creating life...

finding a dark desolate sphere
covered in water

God decided to create life
with carbon basis and links to water
and various chemicals
he stirred up a great primordial soup
that he blessed into fertility.

and from this very thing sprang all branches of life
over countless millennia.

From this invention of Life God crafted
his final frontier
the Conscience of a Soul.

the one thing he could never directly influence
he would challenge himself to create and nurture.

so of the simple beast, God chose a particular strain
to be the vessel of the conscious soul.
the primate.

taking this creature
God began molding it with adversity
like the ever blowing dusts of time on an earthen structure.

eventually
God put him in a desirable region
the Garden of Eden
into which it would be born as true Man


taking the soul and confining it within the cranium
God breathe logical existence into the nostrils of man
making him, in his true unleashed form
a living soul.

the conscious soul, though being separate from God
carried the traits of God
the ability of emotion, the ability to create
the ability to ponder the possibilities.

seeing that it was all good
God Took a rib from man and
Replicated his DNA
and created a Female

for though they were beings like God in characteristics
they were confined to bodies that faded with time.
So God made them a procreating being.

there however was a problem...
the variant angel from past ages had made a return and infect the soul of
man with a counter productive concept
that would forever haunt the mind of the children of man

the knowledge of good and evil
with this, mankind would build
vast, complex and unnecessary systems based on beliefs and nonbeliefs
and greed and selflessness
and "right" and "wrong"

and for this
man would suffer the mere existence
of a reality of his own making
through his own actions
and out the balanced clutches
of God and nature.

and that's how it all went down.
and came down to us...me and you.

at least that's what I think...

You have a unique way of describing things and relating your own thoughts and beliefs to the unknown that is creation. I applaud you and your confidence with releasing a poem with such a controversial topic. Great work! Especially in less than four minutes =]

any questions? as to my reasoning in writing this

I actually like the way you write, but only to some extent. I gather your reasoning is to juxtapose the prevailing theories for creation and existence. You unite them to accentuate the benefits of both as well are their shortcomings? A synergy?

Of course, I may be wrong. Now as to why I do not like it. It's more of a philosophical issue than a literary issue.

First off, you seem to ignore the paramount benefits of both religion and science. That is, science is accentuated by empirical evidence, and religion by moral guidelines. Also, that God is one which is all, and science a tool to achieve all. You degraded God's powers. There is nothing he cannot do. According to Scripture anyway. He is the Alpha and the Omega. As for science, you describe as happening because it has to happen without taking into account the many variations needed to sustain and achieve life.

As for morality and empiricism, you concentrated to much on the fall of men and too little on his redemption and for science you took notice of the facts only, not the methods, which in science, by itself, are useless.

Anyway, I like the way you write, but I do have some [philosophical] issues with the poem.

Good read.

First part is rather satirical. Have you watched the documentary 'Zeitgeit'? Your tone in the first part of the poem rather resembles the one in the film. Half-humor, half-dark. I also find it interesting how you fused theology and science together to achieve the satire.

I find it remarkable how the ending is rather like a reverse of the first part of the poem. When you say 'it's up to you and me'. The universe is back in the control of man whereas in the first part you very vividly describe (though rather ironically) the omnipotence of god by his creation of everything.

I like this, honestly. It's not your normal type of poetry but it's good. There are few writers who can input a social issue into their poetry very concretely.

keep writing.

--Knightly