Raven's Heart

Raven’s Heart

Fading sunsets,
Whispering promises,
Kisses so tender and sweet,
His hazy brown eyes,
My emerald green,
Just gazing at you,
As you’re staring at me.

Laughing and sighing,
With each precious touch,
Creating the feelings,
We cherish so much,
We don’t do this because we have to,
It’s true eternal love.

The hearts we may have broken,
The roads that we will take,
We will take it together,
For the future we will make.

Our love is stronger,
Than hatred and words,
Its viewed as heaven,
All the stars,
And the birds.

We do this in love,
It shows in everything that we do,
We’ll commit to each other,
Two hearts so true.
One love that’s forever,
With god guiding us through,
Your faithful to me,
I’m devoted to you.


please tell me what you think. thanks bunches.

Well, it's not bad, but I have to say that it's another cliched love poem. I think you should drop the rhyme scheme; it isn't helping the poem and it sounds a bit forced. Try to avoid the cliches and I'm sure you can really improve this.

yeah, it is another damn cliche love poem, but you gotta give it its dues, it was done well, and it wasn't trying to be original. Or if it was, it failed utterly, haha. But you know, whatever, this could be really important words to someone, and you gotta respect that.