Uh, something i've been working on, not finished just yet.

Raspberry skies floating above each day
Shining golden in the sun
But could take an ominous turn
Just like a person
more importantly a son.

Damsels strutting through the corridors
Back and forth they walk,
Waiting for the fate of their marriage
Just as their real love begins to court
They are walking down the aisle,
With their male escort.

Little sprouts of green seeping up from the ground
Saying, “Hello” to the earth and sky
Needing the rain and the sun
Having so many possibilities,
To wilt and to die,
Or to perk right up to the sky.

Firstly, you're new (I think), so HI!!! Welcome! Hola! Howdy! Bonjour! (insert any other desired salutation here)!

Getting back to your lyrics, not bad, but it needs work. I'm not sure if you're trying to rhyme, of if that's just happening on accident, but it gets a wee bit confusing. Also, if you're going to include punctuation (I don't know if you have to since it's lyrics), I would either include more and make it... more divided? Gah, I can't think of how to phrase it, but, separate different thoughts more, instead of one big long sentence.

As for the actual structure of the song itself, you seem to have three different ideas going on that don't really have much to do with each other. Since according to the title you're not finished, I'm not sure if you plan on adding more to tie it together better, but I definitely would suggest it. Like I said before, it was good, just needs a little work.

helllo,
thank you for your constructed review. (:
yeah i'm still working on it, so i have an idea on how to tie the three ideas together, don't worry.
and punctuation i have no idea on, so thanks for the help.
overall, thank you.

Raspberry skies floating above each day
Shining golden in the sun

The start to your song is very pretty, and as a song it would be lovely to hear. On the other hand, it fails to be relevant to the rest of the verse.

But could take an ominous turn
Just like a person
more importantly a son.

If you could elaborate how raspberry skies could take ominous turns, that would be great. I understand what you're trying to explain here, how people alike tend to have mood swings and be not who you thought they were. But the "son" part - how is he relevant? Why do sons especially take ominous turns? You don't even mention it again in the rest of the song.

Damsels strutting through the corridors
Back and forth they walk,
Waiting for the fate of their marriage
Just as their real love begins to court
They are walking down the aisle,
With their male escort.

Now, apparently the damsels are already married, because you use "marriage" as a present noun, and yet they're hanging off the arms of male escorts. Of course, if this is a wedding, then there is only one damsel, who is obviously the bride. When you write "Damsels strutting through the corridors," I think of a ballroom party with wealthy young women. If this is about some sort of wedding, make sure to make the "damsels" singular:

A damsel struts through the corridors
Back and forth she walks,
Waiting for the fate of her marriage
Just as her real love begins to court
She is walking down the aisle,
With her male escort

I also noticed that you have a few unnecessary commas, like the one after aisle (because if that was a sentence, it would be "She is walking down the aisle, with her male escort." And the comma isn't needed)

Little sprouts of green seeping up from the ground
Saying, “Hello” to the earth and sky
Needing the rain and the sun

Hold on a mo'. The little green sprouts are needling the earth and sky? But they're little green sprouts! They can't do anything! I'm confused =[

Having so many possibilities,
To wilt and to die,
Or to perk right up to the sky.

I don't think "possibilities" is the word you're looking for, but rather "chance," or some sort of synonym.

~*~*~

RHYME SCHEME

First verse:
A - B - C - D - B
Second Verse:
A - B - C - D - E - D
Third verse:
A - B - C - D - B - B

Now notice how the first verse has five lines, and the other two have six. Now notice the change in the rhyme scheme. To make a poem flow smoothly, you have to make such a scheme consistent, or your reader may not notice it and dismiss it as annoying. If you want to rhyme, make sure that you make it clear that your rhyming, make it flow smoothly and consistently.

IDEA

Now, I sort of understand where you tried to go with this. Somehow you tried to incorporate the flaws of human nature into three short verses, all different situations, although very vague and innocent. I would delve deeper, but it's your song, not mine. But if you wish to do such a thing, I would recommend making the song longer, or converting this into a poem, because it'd be nice if you could mention each situation again. The first one, the one about sons especially taking ominous turns - anybody who can see knows that was for the sake of rhyming, which isn't good. If you're going to write a poem or a song and can't think of a good word that rhymes with "sun," use another ending, and make it make better sense. Also, I would recommend reading this over and analyzing the meanings of your stanzas, and how they would make sense to other people. We're not all inside your mind, you know.

OVERALL

I liked this, I did, but you need to work on it. It has great potential, and if you spruce it up it'll be an even greater song. I'd add on to the plot of it - how sons take ominous turns, the outcome of the girls wedding, what happened to the baby plant that needled on the sky and sun, and so on. You may want to convert this to a poem, because it's really short. Also, you have to realize that some of this doesn't make sense, and needs editing. I think I pointed out most of the flaws.

Good job, and keep writing!
Just PM me if you want any more feedback, or if you have. I'll be happy to help you.
Toodles!