The Music

Put on the music and forget everything you've done
Dance until you fall and don’t regret anything you've done
"Don't cry we did it only for your good"
Just wash your hands clean of the blood and
Wash the guilty off your face
They'll never find us in this place

I obeyed every command you gave
Listened to every word you said
Ignored the conscience in my head
Believed your smile was sincere
always answered with a "Yes, dear"," Yes, dear"
Stupidity, naivety set me in this place, this prison

I put the music on but I can't forget what I've done
I dance until fall but I still regret
I'm crying, the only thing I do well
I washed the blood from my hands and the guilty off my face
But I can feel its presence still

Where are you now?
What have I let myself let you do to me?
Now I've become numb to my misery
I bet you are happily ever after
I can hear your ghostly laughter

Congratulations on this one
I must commend you on this one
Everything I thought I would never become
You've helped me become
My reflection ran away from me

I really like this poem
The premise is cliched but you're idea isn't, which brings freshness to it.
But the first to lines kind of didn't do the rest of the poem justice.
You use "You've done" twice, and that's not very good.
I thought maybe you would were using that to prove a point, or at least use it in every stanza, but play around with rewording it.
And the rythmn is kind of off, but I'm not sure if that was intentional or not so do what you need to do.
But overall, it's a very well written peice.

wow, this reads like a fall out boy song, the words are powerful and I understand what you're getting at (That's a big compliment, I love those guys =])
I just thought that in the line 'Wash the guilty off your face', the guilty should be changed to guilt? Just to me it doesn't really make sense but maybe it's just me being an idiot . Nice poem, though (Y).

walshie

I really like this poem. The beginning portion of the poem is a bit rough but the rest is excellent.
I also agree with the guy that said that the guilty part can be changed to guilt.
Overall, the poem is wonderful. You really show the emotion behind the poem.
Some parts of the poem rhymed but some did not but I guess it was not in your plan to
make it that way.
Clicks Gold Star