The Ire of Medea

Once I thought thy face was finest,
when my lips touched yours palest.
To be kissed by either god or saint;
is to perish, for this heart is faint.

You pecked my fruit like a crow from above.
And I? A whore of a man whose game is love!
I married a demon; and in tears I chose…
to trample the seeds of the devil's rose.

My sons, forgive my bloodstained hand.
Thou art blameless; but now buried in sand.
A murderer I may be; yet I ask of no pity.
May my vengeance fear this man who cheated me!

With this knife of fury, thy life I shall take;
and my heart yearns to burn thee by the stake!
These cold cheeks shall never be slapped again.
Zeus, give me justice! For my pride I must regain.

I really enjoyed this But somehow it appeared like something Shakesphere or one of those great old dead butt dust men wrote... Was your inspiration based upon that?

Once I thought thy face was finest,
when my lips touched yours palest.
To be kissed by either god or saint;
is to perish, for this heart is faint.

Honestly, you took the words that I feel for my boyfriend right out of my mind..

Again, lose the rhyme scheme.

The reference at the end to Greek mythology was ill-chosen and ineffective, as well. If you want to make literary allusions in your poetry, it should not be a sudden outburst, but a passive, recurrent idea throughout. "The Wasteland" is a very good example of effective allusions to mythology and literature - why is it effective? Because it is recurrent. The point I'm making is this: the allusion at the end serves no purpose. Get rid of it.

The Spenserian/Shakesperian language was very cliched, as well. Middle English was intended for iambic pantameter, which accomplished your goal of meter. However, it was not intended to rhyme, and so those who could rhyme Middle English were seen as great. All you did was steal the iambic pantameter from Middle English and then took Modern English for the rhyming - not a very novel, or a very respectable practice.

The actual meat of the poem was flimsy too. Besides being nearly indiscernible, it just takes the plot from Macbeth and reworks it. I'm not a fan of re-creationism.

I see...

Nice criticism.

I like it. In places the rhyme scheme seemed forced, especially in the second stanza, but overall you had a nice concept and it was well-written. So good work.