Preface
“I found a letter today, I am not entirely sure of what kind of importance it is but it is important, to me alone. For my own well-being. I was sick for awhile, hard to explain. My sickness consisted not of what you could go to the drug store and buy a cure. For my cure was unknown, and unable to be harvested. The cure burrowed deep inside the veins of someone, something, that I am unable to find.
Dear Genevieve,
I wasn’t sure how I would start this letter, nor did I ever think I would need to write it, but since the circumstances have led me to this pen and this paper, I will just write.
I never wanted the world to see me but I wanted you to see who I really am, everything I have I want to give you, show you, tell you. I want to sit in the grass and watch it grow around us, time flying but never changing the way I feel about you. Now, the grass will grow, and the sun will set and you will grow old and watch your own children grow old and watch a million sun sets, rise and light the world around you. I will watch you too, but from another view. So regardless of how sad or angry with me you are, don’t miss me because know that what must be done will be done. I only ask of one thing from you, at night when you are about to drift to sleep, look up into the stars, my gift to you, my reasons why I love you. Every night a new one will appear, and every night I will have a new reason. But there’s a catch, if you count them all, I will stop loving you… It’s time for both you and I to leave.
I’m sorry,
Sam
When I found the letter I didn’t have the strength to open it at first, afraid for what ink bled words lie on the paper. When I did I just sat and watched the paper afterwards, waiting for something to happen. I sat for awhile just waiting. I held on to every line and every word afraid to let go. You know, I look up at the stars every night but I never ever try to count them.
This may be hard for you to understand what I’m saying, truthfully, its hard for me too. Let me completely rewind everything for you, let me explain to you how I ended up at your door.” I stood there watching this familiar yet so unfamiliar boy watch me, wide eyed, as I begged for him to understand.
“Would you like to come in?” He asked hesitantly.
Chapter One - Rooftops and strangers.
“Let's start the class with a fun activity, grab a partner, a ruler, marker and three pieces of white construction paper.” The teacher said. Not exactly my idea of fun. I got up and grabbed my materials, looked around but almost everyone already had a partner.
“Sarah.” I said “Would you like to work with me?” I asked. Sarah was in a few of my classes before and although we weren’t exactly friends, she was nice enough to ask.
“Oh, Genevieve, I uh… I am better off working by myself. Less messy that way.” she said scurrying away. I should have figured, yet I still expected different. The funny thing was with these people was that they would have preferred to fail then work with me. I sat down and looked at my papers, “I hate math” I thought. I breathed out heavily causing my papers to blow onto the floor by Erik’s desk, causing him to jump. Erik turned around, looked at my papers then at me in revulsion. I am used to being treated as if I am some sort of disease. It’s because of that time when I smashed all the windows in my house and sat on the roof, not like I was up there for that long or anything. The thing is though, the people here are set in there ways, they are so petty, and I can’t bring myself to sympathize for them. When my adoptive parents couldn’t get me down they called the police and fire department and the end result was crowds of people around my house. My therapist said that it was me just testing my parents, going through five different families apparently I am not stable. My little show was some sort of town catastrophe since the fire and police department haven’t been called in well over ten years. When the chief of police told me this, I figured it was all a bunch of lies to attempt to keep me in check, he even told me that in years to come, people would still look down upon the girl that sat on her roof looking like a fool just to get attention. His lectures, I thought, were going to be the worst part, but they weren’t because within hours the news spread and I was permanently marked as the town loon. Small towns will be the death of me, I swear.
“Day dreaming is not part of your grade, Genevieve.” the teacher snapped at me, she has to teach me but she doesn’t have to be nice about it.
“I don’t have a partner.” I said looking at all of the pairs. She looked around trying to find a straggler, even Sarah, who said she was going to work alone, now had a partner.
“Well then... You can work with Michael and Amanda.” she said coldly. Michael, he’s a complete joke, he is a big boned wrestler that looks like he has been on steroids since he
was twelve. He stayed back before, though I don’t know how many times. He will probably stay back again this year. If I was going to work with him, I would have to explain every step. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t know how to use the ruler, he is incredibly stupid. Then there is Amanda, she is a walking cliché, wearing the most popular clothes, dying her hair bleach blonde, being very promiscuous and striving so much for everyone’s acceptance that she doesn’t care who she hurts on the way. I don’t even think any of her so called ‘friends’ know her last name. It’s Roderick.
“WHAT?! No way, she will probably run off with the paper.” Michael said standing up, almost in a way to block me off from getting near him.
“Ha-ha or eat it or something.” Amanda laughed hysterically and all the rest of the class chimed in. The teacher didn’t do much to hide her smirk. I looked around at all of their hysterics; they made me sick to my stomach. I sat back into my seat and stared at the ceiling, only one tear fell, but it was enough. I was taught never to cry, other people don’t deserve the satisfaction.
Walking home from school was better, the air was warm and I was alone. People stared at me as I walked by but didn’t do much else, no one would approach me and if I approached them they would hide their purse, child or themselves from me. Seriously, I am barely strong enough to carry all of my school books let alone take a child or a purse from someone. When I went into the town store a few weeks ago, the owner followed me around the store to make sure I wouldn’t steal anything. When I went to the counter I was first in line but he insisted on waiting on three other people before he decided I was worthy enough. Whenever I needed something from the store again I asked Rebecca to pick it up for me.
“Welcome to the fabulous town of Merino, Colorado” I said sarcastically.
I didn’t realize the amount of time I had dazed off until I was walking through my front door.
“Gen, is that you?” My adopted mother said.
“It’s Genevieve.” I muttered quietly, but she must have heard because she cleared her throat nervously. I hated being called anything but my name.
“Yes, Rebecca, it is only me.” I said
“Hello Genevieve, was school good?” Her face was soaked and her eyes were red and sore looking.
“…What’s wrong?” I asked
“Sit down; we need to talk about some things.” She spoke slow and low. I had a feeling what was about to happen; same with my other families… clearly I’m defective.
“John, well… he didn’t think that he was happy here and he decided to leave us. You know it wasn’t because of you, he loved you very much. Him and I weren’t getting along, and we just fell out of love.” she started to cry, but I knew she was trying hard not to. Rebecca was trying to save my feelings from getting hurt. John was never very close with me, in fact, I hated him. He was like the rest of the townspeople. Rebecca on the other hand was not, she was a loner kind of like me. She was once beautiful, you could tell underneath all the layers of sadness. My theory with John is that he loved Rebecca’s beauty, not exactly her. They grew apart when her beauty dimmed. He was never in love; he put on that mask so he could get what he wanted. He was a sick man; once I came into the family he took interest in me. I was disgusted and without the horrific details, I threatened to call the cops or to tell Rebecca if he tried anything funny again. Needless to say, after a week, I was up on the roof causing hysteria to get my point across. John never tried anything with me again. I snapped out of my thoughts when Rebecca spoke again.
“That’s not all. You see, this house was barely being paid even with both John and I together. Now that he left, we are going to have to leave too.” she looked down shamefully. Rebecca was very fidgety in her seat; I just watched her move franticly, upon hearing the silence she looked up at me.
“This is our chance.” I began “Start over, just the two of us, heart ache and disappointment will be nonexistent.” Hope sprung into her eyes as I spoke; I was good at hiding my emotions through my voice to everyone, but myself. No matter how hard I tried, I could never convince myself that everything would be okay.
“I have a house for us, its old but it is a perfect size and the price is amazingly low. We need to be there by Friday, the current owners want to leave right away. Apparently there have been some family issues and they can’t stand to live there anymore. I already called your school and set everything up so that for the next three days you can pack and prepare for the move.” She said a bit calmer then before. I nodded and walked into my room, she probably thought that I was sad but honestly I couldn’t have been more relieved. I sat down on my bed and stared at the wall, I had counted every crack and indent. Thirty two all together. I contemplated whether or not to start packing now but I decided not to. Maybe I would read a book but I knew I wouldn’t since I had read every one on my shelf more than a dozen times and could quote almost every page. Instead I laid down and closed my eyes for awhile, trying to picture the new town, and me having more friends than I could imagine. But I just couldn’t picture anything.
Chapter Two - Explanation.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but how does this have any significance to me?” The boy asked politely. I smiled but he returned a weird expression that expression was foreign to me.
“Long story, that I’m trying to tell. Just listen to the story please, and then you will understand.” I watched him, his deep brown eyes, the arch of his brow. The way the side of his mouth curved up when he had no idea what I was saying, it was funny.
“Genevieve, right? I really don’t even know who you are, we haven’t even met before.”
“Oh, but we have. I will tell you if you will just listen.”
“Okay, continue.” He picked up his glass of water and sat back on the couch. I took a breath and continued.
Chapter Three - Movement
The next few days were uneventful, consisting of packing and few words, Rebecca was too consumed by the loss of John, so we didn’t see or hear much of each other. By Friday we were in the car and on our way to our new house. The ride was quiet and I wasn’t enthused at the thought of a six hour ride but getting out of Merino makes the car ride seem like heaven. I put my Ipod in and fell asleep for the rest of the way.
The coarse road made me wake up, I opened my eyes as we pulled up to the house. Rebecca was definitely right about it being old. The house was two stories but each one of the floors were rather small. The outside was falling off a bit and the windows were barely visible through the dirt and grime. I stepped out of the car and leaned up against it, taking in the environment. There were a few houses I saw on the ride up but they were too far away to see from the actual house. There was a single, small house across the street but it looked as if it wanted to stay unbothered.
“What do you think?” Rebecca said. I gave her sort of a half smile. She smiled back and made her way to the back of the car to unload.
“Rebecca, do you mind if I look around inside?”
“No, go right ahead. Don’t go too far.” she said, unloading boxes.
Before I even walked into the house I could smell the dirt and the cleaners used to poorly mask the awful odors. Through the front door was the living room, opening into the kitchen and the stairs, next to the stairs was a glass door to the back yard patio. In the kitchen there was a door to go into a small room which I figured was for storage. Up the stairs were two bedrooms and a bathroom. I went into the smaller of the two bedrooms, claiming it for my own. There was a twin bed, a window and a closet. I went to the window and wiped off a small hole through the dirt with my sweatshirt. I could see Rebecca, she was still unloading. Across the street I could see the other small house. I looked at the door, the yard and all the windows. It looked very much like this one but their house was in much better shape. I shouldn’t have been looking because someone was looking back at me through the second floors right window. It looked to be a guy but I couldn’t have been positive, it was too far. I quickly moved away from his view and leaned against the wall. Minutes passed and I peeked out again. The person was gone out of the window but now there were three people coming out of the house. I watched them go over to Rebecca and then point up to where I was looking out. I sighed and went outside.
“Hello I am Genevieve. I am sorry if I was watching, I didn’t mean…” I was cut off
“Oh no! I am glad we caught you, then we could come over here and say hello.” The lady began “My name is Charlotte Grey and these are my two children, Phoebe and Nickolas. Nickolas was in his bedroom when he saw you, he told me and I raced right on over here to see you, I apologize for not baking anything, I didn’t know we would have new neighbors so soon.” The woman Charlotte said. Charlotte was one of those overly happy people that made me angry; she couldn’t have that perfect of a life to be that happy all the time. I rolled my eyes and turned away a bit too where I could see Phoebe a Nickolas. Phoebe was drawing pictures in the dirt with her shoe and Nickolas was nudging her to stop. Nick didn’t look like Charlotte much; he had lighter hair and darker eyes. Phoebe looked like her mother, with identical brown hair and blue eyes. Phoebe wore her hair in little stubby braids that made her look younger then she actually was.
“Oh yes, well we were in a bit of a hurry to leave the previous house.” Rebecca explained
“Well I hope you enjoy the new place. If you ever need anything you know where we are. How about this, since I couldn’t bake you anything, how about you come right on over and have a cup of tea. No is not an option.” Charlotte said making a motion towards her house.
“I guess it is settled then, Genevieve, could you please bring the rest of these boxes inside?” Rebecca asked
“Of course she can, and Nickolas and Phoebe can help as well.” Charlotte nodded at her children and her children reluctantly nodded back. Charlotte and Rebecca walked away chatting on their way to the Grey household. Rebecca looked back at me and shrugged. I walked over to the car and started to carry the boxes inside. Nickolas ran over and took one out of my hand.
“What are you doing?” I asked
“Helping, what does it look like? My name is Nick….And your name?” He smiled
“I am Genevieve, I am seventeen and I just came from my old house, my parents got divorced and I guess now…”
“Whoa! Slow down, I don’t need a life story.” he said, cutting me off.
“I’m sorry; I am not used to talking to people.” I blushed a little
“Don’t you talk to other girls and stuff?”
“I don’t have any friends.” I made him a bit embarrassed.
“Oh, well now you have two.” he said. Phoebe ran out of the new house skipping. I forgot she even existed.
“Where were you just now?” Nick asked his sister
“I was looking around; I have never been in this house before.” She said
“This isn’t your house to go parading around in. Go get a box and help.” he demanded
“Humph!” she stuck out her tongue to her brother.
“Grow up.” he said
“I am Phoebe; it’s nice to meet you.” she said to me
“I am Genevieve.” I said
“Gen?” she asked
“No, just Genevieve.” I said to her
“Oh okay. How old are you?” Phoebe looked at me curiously.
“I am seventeen.” I answered.
“Well I am nine and I think you’re pretty.”
“Cut it out Phoebe and start helping.” Nick was already carrying his third box to the front steps so I went quicker to catch up. We finished unloading in silence.
Chapter Four - No friends all enemies.
That night I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and I just watched myself in the mirror. My blue eyes, my deep chocolate hair that met with my forehead in a heart shape, my yellowish-pale skin, this face, this hair, this body, this person in front of me, is a person I can hardly stand…“I hate you” I said to myself and punched the mirror, only hurting myself. I stepped back and sat on the floor, “1, 2, 3...Breath.” I felt it getting harder and harder to convince myself to breathe as days flew by. I took a short shower and pulled on some clothes. With my Ipod, I snuck downstairs to go outside. The night was warm but there was a cool wind so I grabbed a sweater. I sat on the front steps for awhile, enjoying my music, until I saw feet walking towards me. I brought my eyes up and I saw Nick. I took my headphones off and watched the approaching boy.
“Hey Genevieve, what are you doing out here so late?” he said smiling
“I was just thinking the same thing.” I said back.
“Well you’re not the only one that likes to watch out windows.”
“That’s not exactly a hobby of mine.” I said irritated.
“Well then name some hobbies of yours.” he replied, sitting down next to me.
“I don’t really have any, I’m the girl who sits in the corner and watches all the other children play.” I explained. He laughed a bit thinking I was kidding.
“Well we are going to have to change that then, aren’t we?” he asked rhetorically. I shrugged anyways
“So, what are you listening to?” He asked pointing to the electronic in my hands.
“My music? I said smiling, my music was my escape, I daydreamed through my music, most of the time losing myself for awhile. “I have a bit of everything from country to R&B and to hip-hop and pop and rock, even classical.” I said, pleased with the variety of songs I had on there. He took the device from my hand.
“What are you listening to now?” he said as he hit one of the buttons.
“One of my favorite songs, actually.” I said, knowing what I was previously listening to.
“30 Seconds to Mars, Was it a dream. Never heard of it.” He said giving me back my Ipod. I was surprised a bit by his loss of interest.
“It is a great song. I like songs that have deeper meaning to them, especially to the person that is listening.
“Yea. Deep is cool!” He nodded nervously. “ Its like artists really get me.” He said nodding his head back and fourth kind of obnoxiously. I don’t think he even knew what he was talking about. He wasn’t very smart. I laughed to myself at his stupidity.
“Tell me about yourself.” He began again
“I thought you didn’t want to hear about my life story.” I snapped. He frowned.
“I’m sorry; I am just a little grouchy right now.” I said quickly.
“Don’t worry about it, you had a long day.“ he said. I guess that I am the type of person that sees the dark side of things, I am a glass half empty type of person. I felt bad for coming off this way to him, he didn’t even know me and so far my first impression was disastrous. But then again he did come over and talk to me so maybe I am not doing so bad after all.
“So how old are you, anyway?” I asked trying to spark up a conversation again.
“I am nineteen years old.”
“Oh, okay.” I said surprised, he looked much younger then that. He had one of those baby faces that was very deceiving.
“Yeah. I just turned nineteen actually, about a month ago.”
“Happy belated birthday.” I tried to sound as sincere as possible. I had always been such a bad liar but Nick didn’t mind, he appeared to believe whatever I said.
“Thanks. So do you have a boyfriend back home?” he asked
“No. I don’t.” I said. I wasn’t about to go back and explain how much of an outcast I was and how the thought of going out with me would repulse any guy back in Merino.
He smiled and said “oh.”
“How about you” I asked “Any girlfriends?”
“Just a couple.”
“Oh.” I frowned.
“Joke, I don’t have a girlfriend.” he said. I laughed feeling a bit dumb not catching on.
“So why don’t you have a boyfriend? You must have to beat guys off with a stick.” he asked
“No, I don’t.” I said “Why would you say that?”
“To be completely straight forward…your hot!” he said looking at my face, his eye brows were raised a bit and his mouth was contorted into a smile. He looked like he was a little kid at a Circus for the first time, watching in awe.
“Thank you.” I said sort of apprehensive, him staring at me so much made me feel self conscious. Through the moments of silence that followed he still never took his eyes off of me. Me on the other hand, I was looking away from him a lot trying to distract myself from his locked eyes.
“So, how long have you lived here?” I asked changing the subject.
“My whole life. My parents split when I was five and my dad moved to Boston.” he said
“That must have been hard.” I said, I didn’t pity him much, since he still had his mom and sister and at least knew where his dad was.
“Yea, I didn’t see him too much and it was hard at first. I remember growing up without a dad. All my friends used to play ball with their fathers and then there was me that played with no one. My dad did come to stay with us for awhile when I was about nine for a few days. Nine months later my sister was born. I haven’t seen him since.” he finished his story looking a bit hurt.
“Life is quite unfair. Listen, it’s getting late,” I said “Maybe I should go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, Night.” I stood up as I spoke. He did as well.
“Night Evie.” he said smiling.
“What?” I said
“Genevieve takes too long to say, Evie is shorter, everyone needs a nickname.” he smiled, I didn’t feel like arguing so I smiled weakly and went inside, closing the door behind me.
Chapter Five - Explanation
“Nick, that’s how you know me?” The boy interrupted.
“No, I am telling you, you won’t be able to guess this one until the story is over.” I said.
“Then why not skip to the end of the story and tell me?”
“It wouldn’t make any sense to you.”
“It isn’t making any sense to me now!”
“Exactly, that’s why I need to continue with the story!”
“This is hopeless… do you even know my name?”
“Which one?”
“What do you mean which one?! I have one name. Okay, I think you should leave now, you have some unsolved issues that really need to be dealt with.”
“Well that’s why I’m here, to solve my issues. Please just let me finish and when I am done you can judge me, whether or not you think I’m crazy or not.”
“Fine, my name is Michael by the way.”
Chapter Six
“Gen.” The sound was a little muffled so I pulled the pillow off my face and looked up.
“Morning sunshine.” Rebecca said “I am going out to go out shopping for supplies, and groceries. I will be gone for the day so I left some money on the counter and there is a gallon of milk and a box of cereal. Wash any dish you use. I’ll see you later. Oh and one more thing, please put the boxes left from your clothes and stuff in the storage room. Isn’t this place great! Bye sweetie.” She walked out of the room before I had a chance to respond.
I woke back up again about an hour later and went and had some breakfast. I brought my boxes downstairs to the storage room. The light must have gone out because the switch wouldn’t work, obviously my luck. I put the boxes on the floor and moved my hands around on the walls to feel my way around. I found a shelf with a flash light and turned it on. The flashlight wasn’t very bright so I had to feel my way back to the stairs; as soon as I could almost see the light from the door I heard a bang, click and a slam. I fell backwards onto the floor and dragged myself to the other side of the room completely frightened. All I could do was watch as the wall shifted and a decent sized hole took its place. I turned the flashlight on and cautiously moved across the room to the break in the wall, I flashed the light down into it and saw mostly dark, but there were stairs. I watched and waited expecting something to shoot out and grab me, like in movies. Nothing happened, and just as I was about to go look closer, the door bell rang. I would continue my adventure later, so I pulled a box over and piled a few on top of each other to hide my discovery. I raced out of the room, closed it and went to the front door.
“Hello Evie.” It was Nick
“Hi Nick.” I said
“I got some good news.” he said pushing the door open a little. He was very persistent.
“Want to come in?” I asked to be polite, not really wanting him too.
“I’d love too. Listen I got some friends coming over later and I was wondering if you would like to hang out with us?” he begged a little
“Well, I would but-” I didn’t finish
“Great. Well we can hang out here or at my house, it doesn’t matter.” he said cutting me off
“ Ugh. Okay, that’s fine. I can come over to your house later.” I said
“Great, they will be here in about three hours.” he said. I nodded in approval
“Do you know anything about this house?” I asked
“What do you mean?” He asked, a bit baffled.
“Well do you know the past families, and any history behind the house?”
“No, I never really knew the families, we tried to come over and say hello but no one was friendly or my age. People left quickly, the house was falling apart too much for them to usually stay for long, but what others never knew is that family members would start to disappear, completely untraceable. Police never released the information since they thought it was another runaway case and there wasn’t much they could do. But living right across the street has its advantages.” he laughed. “This house has been here for a long time, before I was even born, even before my parents. There is an old scary story about this house being used as a torture chamber, a slaughter house and also being used to hold dead bodies by criminals until they could be buried. All are untrue though. Why the sudden interest?” he asked
“Just curiosity I guess.” I stopped with the questions so he wouldn’t get suspicious. We talked for a bit and then he left. I went and got ready to go over to Nicks.
