why life is so hard

WHY LIFE SO HARD .......................................................DEAR GOD WHY IS LIFE SO HARD...
WHY IS LIFE SO HARD ...
READ AND PREACH FROM THE BIBLE...
AS A YOUNG KID FIGHTING FOR SURVIVEL...
WHILE WATCHING MY MOTHER COME HOME LATE...
LOOK DOWN AND STILL SEE THE BILLS UNPAID...
WHATS THE POINT OF GROWN UP....
WORK A 9 TO 5 AND STILL STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE....
OR MAKE GRANDS ON THE STREETZ AND JUST PRAY.....
TO MAKE IT PASS 25.....
THAT AINT RIGHT.....
I SAY AGAIN THAT AINT RIGHT....
WE SHOULD ALL LIVE AS ......
BOTHERS AND SISTER.....
NO FIGHTING 1 ENOTHER....
AND WHEN U SEE SOMEONE .....
THATS HUNGARY U SHOULD OFFER THEM...
A MEAL SO THAY WONT STARVE....
BE REAL WITH YOURSELF....
IS THE PRICE OF 24'S.....
WORTH UR LIFE....
OR IS IT WHATS IN FRONT OF U NOW.....
OR WHAT U CAN WORK ON IN THE AFTER LIFE...
DONT BLAME GOD FOR WHAT U MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH.....
CAUSE IN THE END IF YOU BELIFE....
GOD WILL MAKE AWAY FOR U

Hey LOSO! Welcome to YWS!

Some tips before I begin my review:

--> Try to get your review count up a bit. At a minimum you should have a 2:1 ratio of reviews to submissions. For every piece by you that you post, you should review two to three pieces by someone else. More information about this is in the Stickies at the tops of the forums. The more people's work you review, the more people will review your work.

--> All caps can be a turn-off, as can computer jargon. There's stuff about that in the Stickies, too, I believe. Anyway, if you're serious about having people take a second glance at what you write, don't use all-caps, spell out words, capitalize things that need capitalizing, and spend a little bit of time on the spelling, punctuation and grammar. If you're not sure about something you can ask, or include a note saying you would like it if someone would help with the editing after you've done your best with it.

Ok, now on to the piece. I feel like the last few lines don't really fit with the rest of the poem. Earlier the speaker says, "that ain't right", and then he turns around and says "don't blame God". To me those two things don't really mesh. It's ok to have a turn-around in your poem, but I think this one needs more transition.
The subject's good. Some of the rhymes are a little forced; some lines, like the "read and preach the Bible" line, seem to exist only for the rhyme.

One thing I really like about this poem is its concrete details. The bills on the table, the hungry person... these are good images, not too abstract. I like that. I think you should try to put more of them in.
I also like the length of the poem. Not too long, not too short. The energy is good, too.

Alright, hope that helped. Good luck with this! Keep writing!
-BFG