Please stay (revised)

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Points 1610
Reviews 47
Crashing on the shore
The waves are my comfort
But strength of the current
Pulling me under

Failing to think at all
My mind is a clear as the sky
Freeing myself
I really want to die

My heart slows its pace
As my vision goes black
Now I know that nothing
Will ever bring me back

I remember his voice
Pleading me to stay
Thinking how things have changed
From earlier in the day

He knew of my plan
I had to let him know
That life was getting to hard
It was my time to go

I still feel his hands
Caressing my tear streaked cheeks
His own eyes flooding
The beginning of his weeps

I hugged him hard
His warm body heat
Pressed against my chest
I could feel his heart beat

No, I think I'll stay
Why do I give up
At the beginning of my life
When I met my first love?

I somehow find my strength
To pull above the surface
I found his face
Warmed my up like a furnace

Soaked down to the core
I swim onto the sand
He's been waiting there for me
And offers me his hand

I grab it with such eagerness
I cry onto his sweater
He tells me not to worry
Tells me I'm as light as a feather
Last edited by quietloud798 on Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:39 am, edited 2 times in total.
NaNoWriMo, ftw.




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Gender Female
Points 240
Reviews 98
Is this about Twilight? because if it is, don't waste your talent writing about something that is now so common place. Everyone is writing about that story. Don't be every one.

If it wasn't, your rhythm needs some work. Other than that, it was excellent. You should be proud.



The continuation of our world depends more on the survival of the kindest than it does on the survival of the fittest.
— Arcticus