Just Believe

This is my second attempt at writing a song. Any help would be greatly appreciated.


Just Believe

I was a new girl to this town not too long ago
I had no friends; I had to let them all go
We were trying to start new, to just renew
My mama and me were inseparable
It was a time of living, a time of truth
But we were all alone, out on our own

Chorus:
When I’m all alone
You remind you’re still there
Waiting to repair
My broken heart; my despair
If I ever stopped believin’
that you were never leavin’
you reminded me
to just believe

The beginning of my teens I began to fret
That I was losing you and I had to check
You were my cure, so I had to be sure
I found you there, in the comfort of words
You sheltered me in love from this crazy world
I fell on my knees and you strengthened me

Repeat Chorus

So I’ll try to live my life a little better each day
I’ll kneel down at night and remember to pray
To pray…

Repeat Chorus

Hey there,

this is actually rather nice for a second song. =)

I did however notice that you do a lot of rhyming, which doesn't necessarily help the flow. It gets a little much when everything rhymes and lyrics are more about flow and rhythm than rhyming. This was a little choppy when I read it aloud, so maybe you can work on it by reading it and seeing whether the rhythm of your lines match together or not. If not, try to tweak it a little so they go together better. (Maybe you won't want to do it for this song, if you're happy with it the way it is, but you can try it for the next.)

I liked how you made your point and thought you chose an appropriate title. Very characteristic for this song and I suppose it's what the narrator wants to remember.

I wasn't sure who this song was directed at. The mother, maybe? Maybe you can make that a little clearer, if so.

Keep writing!

All the best,
~Kalliope

Hey! I actually liked it.. I second Kalliop in that you shouldn't care that much for the rythm, a good song is a song that is written with the heart. So don't think if it matches or not, just let the words flow. But I still think it's good!
Keep writting!
-Taylor

i realy liked it couldnt really tell that genre um...i definetely sensed some country though i tried to sing pop with it but it just didnt work but the song was amazing so cool yeah and i third kalliope all songs dont have to do rhyming it makes it sound better and beautiful but it isn't really needed but i still like it though so just keep doing what you do best and dont let anybody tell you-you can't pursue your dream there is always a way hey...im going to put that on my signature lolz

BEST OF LUCK