During my long, wet walk home, all I could do was think about those awful things I had said to Sarah. Everytime I was close to forgetting it, I would find myself once again staring at the deep, orange stain that would now permanently haunt my shirt. I guess I knew, deep down, that Sarah would forgive me. She always did, we were constantly fighting over stupid things. Which tissue box belonged to who, who like "Attack of the Clones" more, whether giraffes were cooler than koalas, the list seemed to be endless. Yet, I couldn't break the cycle. Sarah was my dearest friend, and my lady love.
~~~~~~~~
“Wait… was she wearing a white shirt?” my second best friend Frankie asked during our phone conversation later that night. Frankie was just about the nerdiest guy ever.
I could imagine him now, sitting in his basement, playing World of Warcraft as we spoke. His straight, chestnut hair was maintained in a very Mr. Brady way, just as his mother liked it. Frank's mom had not only been deciding his hairstyle for the last seventeen years of his life, but she had also been shopping for him too. He usually wore New Balance sneakers, always in mint condition and never loosing their amazingly bright shade of white, long dark socks pulled up passed his wobbily ankles, jean shorts in the summer, or carpenter's jeans in the winter, and then a plaid shirt, usually made up of the darkest, ugliest colors possible. Despite being lanky and awkward, his face was round, and his lips plump, they oozed spit as he spoke.
“Why does that matter, Frank? She threw her soda and me and left. The color of her shirt does not make it any better or any worse.”
“Yes, it does, actually, because I read an article this morning, and it said that the color of a woman’s shirt can express whether she is menstruating or not.”
“Ew. That’s ridiculous, Frank, I don’t that’s very true. Listen, I’ve gotta go, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Frank was pretty much the most ridiculous person I knew, but he was the only friend I really had, besides Sarah, who was only my friend half the time, the other half we were fighting about Lances and fish breeders. I decided to take my mind off Sarah and the stupidity that was Frank and mosey downstairs to get some Tostitos and see if Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood was on.
I walked out my bedroom door, made my way down the creeping staircase, located a bag of tortilla chips and settled for Girls Next Door as opposed to the favorable Snoop Dogg program. As Hef and the Girls bounced around the mansion and did naked things, I found myself dosing off into dreamland…
Sarah was dancing on top of a table, dressed in sixties garb and doing the swim as loud party music and rainbow lights flashed around us. She acted like we were at the biggest blow out of the year, when it was actually just me and her in my musty old basement.
In the middle of Sarah’s odd behavior, Lance, and a slew of men who looked exactly like him burst out of the closet, and they all were dancing rather provocatively with Sarah. Even though these guys were grinding up on her and doing all sorts of other things… Sarah barely seemed to notice, she just kept on dancing like no one was watching.
“Sarah!” I called out, “Be careful of those guys!”
She turned her spotlight eyes on me and said, “What guys? You’re crazy, Teddy. Just come over here and dance with me!”
Before she had even finished speaking, the guys lifted her up and began carrying her away, and still, she failed to notice, or, if she had noticed, she definitely didn’t care.
“Sarah! Where are those dudes taking you?”
“Oh, these guys? They’re just going to sex me up! Don’t worry about it!”
I couldn’t understand how her sweet little mouth could yell out such horrible things. My mouth fell to the floor, as did my ass.
Thankfully, I was awoken from my awful state of dreamland shock and despair by the telephone.
“Ted,” the voice said breathlessly at the other end, “it’s Sarah! I need you to come over here, pronto!”
...
I like this a lot, it's really good. Frank made me laugh with his little menstruating comment. I love it when authors throw in those little dorky characters that make you laugh all the time.
