Mouse Wheel

She watches the mouse
go around in the wheel
unburdened by the world
moving around it.

She thinks about
how nice it would be
to simply run on a
little plastic wheel,
not having to worry
about life's trials.

She looks again
and realizes that
freedom from choice
means living in a cage.

Niiice.

Honestly, I didn't see where you were going until the end. Haha. I was like whaaat.

Anyway. I guess I should add more words here to make this review a little bit longer...

My oonly suggestion would be to make your titles more focused on the idea of the poem, perhaps?

I think I would have been much quicker to click on it, if it was called...I don't know...'Trapped' or something like that.

Good job. It made me smile.

I really liked this. In fact, so much that I'm going to give it a gold star. It has that nice surprise ending; without it, the poem would be pointless. But with it, it's great.

A nitpick, perhaps, just because I'm evil that way.

She watches the mouse

go around in the wheel

unburdened by the world

moving around it.

You use 'around' twice in one stanza. Perhaps change the second one to 'outside of' or 'about'?

But really, there isn't much to critique here. I think adding a stanza or two wouldn't hurt; perhaps expand on what the mouse has that she doesn't, and why she wishes she could just run on a wheel all day. You can use the wheel to symbolize something, too. Maybe the concept of never getting anywhere.

Gold star! Good job!

~Evi