Act 4, Scene 3
The scene is set in the band room, but it is tidier now and the piano is gone, moved into the classroom. The band’s backpacks are still strewn about the sides. The band is there, but not Flute or Bottom. They appear to be very worried. Quince is constantly checking his watch and drumming his fingers on his knee. Robin is pacing back and forth and Tom is eating nervously. Snug is strumming out chords, but he’s not doing a good job of it and is starting to become panicky. Suddenly, Quince jerks his head up, out of his thoughts, and speaks.
Quince: Have we checked the janitor’s closet yet? He likes to use the chemicals in there for experiments sometimes.
Tom: (Perking up) He might be there! It’s an idea--
Snug: (Cutting in) We checked there already, remember? (Pause) If he doesn’t come, can we still go through with this? Because right now this concert for the principal is the only thing stopping me from failing math, socials, science, english, and pretty much every other course. I need this to go well.
Quince: We couldn’t, of course not! He’s the only one of us who could pull off being the lead singer! And it’s not like we can pull any of you guys to do his part, we need you on your own instruments.
At the mention of instruments, Tom looks up from his food and looks around him for his drum sticks. He realizes he can’t see them and starts searching quietly.
Snug: (Tentatively) Well… Flute could--
Quince: (Ignoring the suggestion of Flute and cutting Snug off) Wait one second, did you just say you were only in this band for your grades? You didn’t actually want to be here?
Snug: Well, ya, why else? That’s why we’re all here isn’t it? The principal said he’d pass in our courses from last year us if we could provide a bit of entertainment for his party.
Tom: (Looking up) Ya! Exactly! (Pause) Um, has anyone seen my drumsticks?
Quince: (Staggered) So none of you even care what happens tonight? Whether we make it or break it? My band is a farce? (Grasping at straws) Robin! Why are you here!
Robin: (Shrugging) Mom said I was doing too much piano, said I needed some after school activities to make friends. I chose this.
Quince: So we have one person here who actually wants to be in this band. (Sarcastically) Oh, that’s just wonderful!
Robin: (As an afterthought) And I was failing.
Tom: Guys, my drumsticks…
Quince: (Sarcastically) This is just great!
Flute enters, out of breath and disheveled from his fight with Oberon and his rushing to get here.
Flute: I’m here! Are we ready to go?
Quince: (Hysterically) Oh yes! We’re ready! Bottom’s not here, Tom’s drumsticks are missing, and half my band is only here to get a passing grade! But I’m sure we’ll be able go on stage any moment now and knock their socks off!
Flute: Wait, slow down a sec. Let’s deal with this one problem at a time. Bottom’s not here… have you searched for him?
Quince: Yes! He wouldn’t miss this for anything! Green or not!
Flute: (Thinking) I could have sworn I’d seen him just a second ago…
All the color drains from Flute’s face realizing where he last saw Bottom.
Flute: I don’t think he’ll be coming for a little while; he might be here halfway through the performance. Until then… I guess we’ll just have to make do. Now, you said Tom’s drumsticks are missing? Have you searched for those?
Tom: I can’t find them anywhere!
Flute: Well, we’ll help you look.
A search commences, with much noise and commotion. Every nook and cranny is checked, even in their backpacks and instrument cases, but it is in vain. After a while they give up and return dejectedly to their places.
Flute: Well, then we’ll just have to find something else. Did anyone find something long and thin?
Quince: I found two pens.
Tom: (In horror) And mark up my set? Not on your life!
Flute: Okay then Tom, any other suggestions?
Tom: Well… I have two chopsticks from my lunch… they’re sticky but they might work…
Flute: (Relieved) Good! We’ll use those then. Are we all set?
Quince: (Gloomily) All except for Bottom.
Bottom enters, shaking his head as if to free it from bad memories. He is not green. Quince sees Bottom and runs to give him a hug, but catches himself at the last moment and instead gives him a huge pat on the back, almost bowling him over. Bottom thrusts Quince away.
Quince: Bottom! You’re here! And you’re OK!
Bottom: Quince! Get away from me! Gah!
Quince: Where were you! We’re almost ready to go on!
Bottom: I was… well never mind where I was. I’m here now. Are you all ready to go?
Quince: Yes! Flute organized us wonderfully when you weren’t here.
Bottom: I knew you idiots couldn’t handle… What! Flute! I want a word with you. Privately.
Flute stands his ground as a war of wills commences, with Bottom giving in and moving towards Flute. Bottom throws his cape around the two of them to try and have some semblance of privacy, and they huddle together, looking very stupid.
Bottom: All I have gotten from you is insurrection, time after time! First you have the gall to not sing for me for one performance, and now you have taken control of my band while I was gone? I will not take this from you anymore!
Flute: First off, I wasn’t aware that this was your band, I was under the impression it was Quince’s, and second--
Bottom: (Cutting in) Quince’s, mine. They’re one and the same.
Flute: Do you even care about this band other than to help along your “plan”?
Bottom: Of course not! Why would I? (Pause) Wait! How do you know about the plan?
Flute: (Ignoring the last statement) Well Quince does care, and that, more than anything, makes this band his.
Bottom opens his mouth to speak, but Flute raises his hand and Bottom shuts it.
Flute: And secondly, what is it that you have to take! You abandoned these kids right before their performance because of your ego, and asked me to lie to every person at the party just to further boost that ego! You have no reason to be angry.
Bottom: The insolence! Hold your tongue minion!
Flute: I am not your minion, and I am not your voice. In fact, I am not even in “your” band. Not anymore. I quit.
Flute straightens up, flinging the cloak off him. Bottom straightens as well a moment later. The rest of the band is staring at Flute, aghast.
Bottom: What! You can’t do this to me! No one can!
Flute: I just did.
Flute strides off of the stage purposefully as Bottom yells after him.
Bottom: Fine then! Quit! We don’t need you! You’ll never leave here alive anyways. Not when I’m through with you! (Pause) Right! It’s almost time to go on. Everyone flip to page ten and be ready to play!
Snug: But… Flute.
Bottom: We don’t need Flute! Good riddance to him! Be ready in two minutes! I’ll be back then.
Bottom storms out, leaving the remaining band members to look desperately around at each other. They start picking up their things with an air of forlorn hopelessness.
