Here's the next bit. An overveiw of the characters can be found in the other parts. I've tried to correct all of the issues that have been mentioned to me already in earlier bits. I appreciate all feedback, the more problems you come up with the better I can make this. Thanks in advance.
Act 2, Scene 1
Scene is set in the classroom. Puck is already in detention and sleeping. The teacher enters and Puck wakes up from sleep. She doesn’t notice anyone is there until Puck speaks.
Puck: Hey! What have you been doin’ over the summer?
Teacher: Oh, this and that. It doesn’t matter. (She goes over to her desk) Do you happen to know where my daughter is? She’s supposed to be in this class first period, and apparently she hasn’t picked up her schedule.
Puck: Girl, I’ve no clue where your kid is. But I know her boyfriend’s in here. We go way back.
Teacher: Wait… don’t I know you? Don’t tell me you’re that Puck boy, the trouble maker! I’ve heard those tales; he’s the worst in every class, making every little issue into a big debate! Why else would you be here already, in detention? But you can’t be him, can you? And refer to me as Mrs., young fellow!
Puck: Well then “Mrs. Youngfellow” (sarcastically), it seems to me you have your mind made up already. Do I really look like a troublemaker? Well my name is Puck, but you’re talkin’ ‘bout someone else. I don’t make no mischief.
There’s a pause as the teacher looks at him unbelieving and Puck tries his best to look angelic, which he fails miserably at.
Puck: Hey wait! Here comes Oberon.
Teacher: Ah, and here comes my daughter as well. I’m glad she made it to class.
The teacher shakes her head and sits behind her desk. Oberon and Titania enter from opposite sides of the room, Titania with a bunch of her friends, Oberon with Flute trailing behind him and looking quite pleased with himself.
Oberon: It is pleasing to perceive you in this locality!
Flute: Hey, nice to see you!
Titania looks surprised at Flute talking, but nods and moves on, intent on the task at hand.
Titania: Oh no you don’t, Oberon! Don’t try to be all nice to me. I know it was you who took my lipstick! You were the only one with me ever when I was at my locker! I’m not talking to you until you confess.
Titania glares angrily at Oberon, daring him to say the wrong thing. She doesn’t notice that her mother is there.
Oberon: Your maquillage implement? What maquillage implement? Is it not obvious to you that it was not I who took it from you without permission or right! Why would I desire to have it in my possession in any case?
Flute: Lipstick? Lipstick? Of course I didn’t take it from you! What would I want with it anyways?
Titania: What do you want with it! How should I know what you want with it! Probably something for one of your stupid experiments. No wait. I know why you wanted it! You gave it to another girl! Who did you give it to! Tell me and you might just get to speak with me again!
Oberon: To present voluntarily and without expecting compensation to another young female person? Not under any condition! I did not have it in my personal possession in the beginning, so cease incriminating me maliciously!
Flute: Give it to another girl! Never! And I didn’t have it in the first place, so stop accusing me!
Titania: Oh, you are so impossible! Girls! Let’s go. I am so not staying in the same room as this… this jerk!
Oberon: I did not apprehend it!
Flute: I didn’t take it!
Titania: Ya, right. Just don’t come crying to me when your new girl dumps you on your stupid genius…
Oberon: (Interrupting her) Progress away! Just, progress far away from me at this time! If you’re going to bring false charges against me then I would not yearn to allocate towards your personage either!
Flute: Just go! Go away! If you’re going to accuse me of something I never did in the first place then I don’t want to talk to you either!
Titania makes a move to leave but the teacher clears her throat. Titania looks embarrassedly at her mother then stops and sits down at a desk. Oberon sits at a desk also. The teacher is glaring at Titania. Titania stage whispers to Oberon. The girls that entered with Titania are standing huddled in a corner making quite conversation and looking at Titania over their shoulders ever so often.
Titania: I would if I could, but I can’t. My mom’s here and I can’t skip her class. She’d skin me alive.
Oberon: Why should I lose my composure over what your procreator executes! You enter this place and affront me, call me as a defalcator and a dissimulator. Don’t deign to dissert towards my general area until that pulchritudinous, evacuated, shriveled cranium of yours is offering compensation for your insult!
Flute: Why should I care what your mother does to you! You come in here and insult me, call me a thief and a liar. Don’t talk to me again until that pretty, empty, little head of yours is apologizing.
Titania: Apologize! To you! You have it really mixed up! Oh, never mind. Explaining this to you is stupid. I don’t care what my mom does to me! Staying in the same room with you any longer is punishment enough. Girls!
Titania gets up and storms off. The teacher hearing the sound of the door slam looks up. The bell rings.
Teacher: The bell has gone! Titania! Come back! (Spoken with a parent’s authority)
The teacher follows Titania out.
Oberon: Admirable ending! Move away from this place into another direction! That’s the reaction I desired to inspire anyways. I’ll take vengeance on you! Puck, do you recall to the mind by an effort of memory the science exhibition we hosted last June?
Flute: Fine! Leave then. That’s what I wanted any ways! I’ll get you! Puck, do you remember that science fair we had last June?
Puck has been watching the argument that has unfolded interestedly, and is startled to be addressed.
Puck: What?
Oberon: A unique undertaking by a person of the male persuasion was to bring into existence, by shaping or changing material, a love liquid mixture of medicinal value. He deposited it in the concierge’s ambry. Can you cause it to come towards me?
Flute: I think one guy made a love potion and had extra after his experiment was finished. He stored it in the janitor’s closet. Can you get it?
Puck: Sure I can get it for ya’, but why? And howd’ ‘ja know where it’s stored anyways?
Oberon: Do not distress yourself over that! Just return the beverage to me!
Flute: That is none of your concern! Just get it!
Puck: Fine then, no need to have a hissy fit!
Puck leaves in a huff.
Oberon: Then, when I get the potion I’ll put it in her pop, and she’ll fall in love with whichever guy she decided was worthy of her today! And she thought I was two timing her! I hope whoever she falls in love with is horrible!
Flute: Then, when I get the potion I’ll put it in her pop, and she’ll fall in love with whichever guy she decided was worthy of her today! And she thought I was two timing her! I hope whoever she falls in love with is horrible!
Flute realizes that he just repeated exactly what Oberon has said and gives a start.
Oberon: What!?! Hey who’s coming? I’ll just slip behind this desk here…
Oberon crouches behind the teacher’s desk, hidden poorly. Flute follows his lead, but hides himself much better. Demetrius and Helena enter.
Demetrius: Dudette, I don’t like you. I’m lookin’ for the other dudette; you know the one with the dude? Just go away!
Helena: But Demy! I love you! With all my heart I do!
Demetrius: Do I, like, lead you on or something? Aren’t I, like, telling you that I, like, hate you?
Helena: The more you hate me the more I love you! Unworthy as I am, I aspire to be your dog, loyal and loved by its owner! You make my heart beat fast just being in your presence.
Demetrius: Dudette, stop, like, trying. You’re making me, like, wanna spew.
Helena: And yet I wish to die whenever I’m not looking upon your fairest face.
Demetrius: Your being WAY over the top here. Like, what will people, like, think we’re doing in this “private” place?
Helena: How you say this place is private! You are my world, so nowhere can be private while I’m with you! The world watches me, through handsome eyes that hate me so!
Demetrius: I, like, know you’re new and all, but I’ll, like, leave you here you know. You’ll be, like, lost.
Helena: I will follow thou wherever thou choosest to go! To the ends of the earth, the girl will chase the boy rather than the other way around! We will turn the world on it head!
Demetrius: Oh, forget it! I’m, like, outta here. And if you, like, follow me you’ll, like, regret it.
Helena: Of course I’ll regret it! I’ll regret that you don’t love me until the day my heart ceases to beat! We women are not made to get the guys, but the other way around! We can’t fight for our love, our lives to be near us, we can just hope.
Demetrius: (exasperated) Dudette, like, leave me alone!
Demetrius exits.
Helena: I’ll follow you through hell, I’ll die by your hand, but as long as I’m close to you my spirit will be happy in this cage it calls a heart.
Helena leaves in the same direction as Demetrius
Oberon: Huh, so she’s in love with him, and he’s in love with another girl? That should be interesting…
Puck comes back in and Oberon resumes normal speech.
Oberon: Have you come to have possession of the draft that I communicated vocally about?
Flute is staring at Oberon, and it hasn’t registered in his brain that Oberon spoke.
Oberon: Ahem.
Flute shakes himself out of his thoughts and fumbles to make a creditable translation, stumbling over some of the words.
Flute: Do you have the love potion?
Puck: Uh huh. Right here.
Puck holds a 2 liter pop bottle labeled Plan X in large letters up to the audience. It has maniacal laughter written onto it underneath the label.
Oberon: Superior! I’ll set to a duty her carbonated, flavored, and sweetened soft drink to convey from it to her two fleshy parts forming the margins of the mouth and functioning in speech.
Flute: Good! I’ll put it in her pop so she’ll drink it.
Puck: Um, you sure this is a good idea? What if this tiff you guys are having just passes over? And I still wannna know how you figured out where this stuff was stored. Do you listen at doors or something?
Oberon: (Lying) Not in any way! It’ll be in satisfactory operational order. I’ve analyzed to chemical makeup of both of the elements involved in this compound. In addition, I desire for you to provide this to a person of the male gender with the numerous fine, usually cylindrical, keratinous filaments growing from the skin of humans. A person of the female variety dotes upon him, and yet her adoration is sent back in reciprocation with intense dislike.
Flute: Of course not! And don’t worry, the potion is safe. I’d like you to give some of this to a guy with hair as well. A girl likes him but he doesn’t like her.
While Flute speaks, Oberon quietly rustles around in his backpack for a second and takes out a water bottle, into which he empties a small amount of the potion. He keeps the water bottle and hands the pop bottle back to Puck.
Puck: Okay then. Fine. Whatever you say boss. But if you ever hear somethn’ really juicy, tell me. You’d be amazed what people are willing to do to cover up that kind a stuff.
Oberon: This should turn out nicely!
Oberon exits, Flute trailing on his heels and shaking his head.
Edit: To everyone who tells me I need to tone down Oberon's speech, I know, and am probably working on it as you read this.
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