The three nights

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The three nights:

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

I'm crying because, of this day,

seeing my friends, captured in a cage.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

Now ~, free, my friends. Or, face, the consequence.
Because. Never will I give up,
on them.

Never will I give up,
on my friends,
let them down,
or been hit too many times,
whilst one the ground.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

As you see ~,
Even you can be,
defeated,

hit down,
while you are,
on the ground.

Never will I give up,
on my friends,
let them down,
or been hit by you,
whilst one the ground.

Never will I give up,
Or let down.
Been hit,
whilst one the ground.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

I'm crying,
because,
of this day,

seeing my friends,
captured in a,
cage.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

Now ~, free, my friends. Or, face, the consequence.
Because.

Never will I give up,
on them
Been hit,
whilst one the ground.

Never will I give up,
on my friends,
let them down,
or been hit by you,
whilst one the ground.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

The cry~, flows trough the three nights,
with all its, ill gotten, might.

What is it, we were, asking for,

as the cry flowed through,
our minds....
Last edited by Lord Anzius on Thu May 21, 2009 11:35 am, edited 2 times in total.
To copy reality is good... But to create reality is much, much better.
-Giuseppe Verdi-




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Lord Azinus, this must be fate.

The cry~,
flows through,
the three nights,

with all its,
ill gotten,
might.


This needs some restructuring. It works better as,

The cry flows through the night
With all its ill-gotten might.

See, if you get rid of those commas and change it into one verse, it flows better.

I'm crying,
Because, of this day,


Well, it happens again here.

I'm crying because of this day,

sounds so much better. Or maybe,

I cry
Because I've lost today.

Really, the whole piece could stand to be restructured. That's the bad; now here's some good.
You showed emotion (sorrow, loss, protection) very well throughout.




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Totally awesome Anzius! I hope the song was about me. Why you didn't tell me at school that you got new songs. But I have to admit that the punctuation was sucky. But I grade songs by moral and emotions so good job! You deserve a star!
Blood is red
But Heaven is blue
The Devil will fined out
And take you



Despite everything, it's still you.
— TobyFox