From Dusk to Dawn

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The sun sets behind a cloud of smoke and flame.
A darkness ushered in with a millennia.

The sea-soaked earth
The empty bowl
The loaded gun.
The desperate cry.
The night.

Nothing left to save
Nothing left to love.
Nothing but the flame.
Hidden within the shroud of chaos.
Hidden, but there.
In the eyes of the old, withered farmer.
Working hour after backbreaking hour so that his children wouldn’t have to.
In the heart of the mourning widow, that through all her woe carries on.
The flame,
Of hope.

And though now the light may fall.
Silhouetting the shape of two broken towers as it slowly slips away into the horizon,
It will return.

The sun will rise.
The dawn will break.
And hope will reign
"There is nothing impossible to him who will try."-Alexander the Great




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Gender Female
Points 890
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I didn't quite understand what the setting for this was. I understood some sort of war but in what time?
was it in modern day or mideival time?

In set 3 line 5 where you had put
"Hidden, but there." was lines 6 supposed to end that?
If so I'd suggest taking away the period and replacing it with a comma.
If not rewrite please!

Also I'd suggest making line 8 the start of the next set as line six creates the thought of the farmer and then it switches to a completely different person with no transition.

I liked it though... I felt the emotion behind the people and the difference between their hope
When the world explodes, I won't panic. I'll lay down and watch the sky. The last word to leave my lips will be "Boom"
Love you Mary-boo




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1
Read your poem and it's great! No...wait...it's awesomely awesome! ^--^
"Do not try and remember what you've forgotten. Instead, focus on what you wish to become. Only then will you truly understand who you are."



Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief