Act 4, Scene 1
The scene is set in the band room, where the lights have been turned back on. Titania has returned and is fawning around Bottom, who is feeling very pleased with himself from all the complements. Oberon sneaks on and hides himself behind the piano before any words are spoken. No one notices him, or Flute, who follows him and crouches next to him. They are both very poorly concealed.
Titania: Darling, your cape is just so… how do you manage to look so stunning all the time!
Bottom: That’s for me to know and you to never find out. Now, where are Brittney and Megan?
Brittney/Megan: (At the same time) Here. Jinx! Jinx infinity!
Bottom: My dear test subjec-girls, would you step this way for a moment? Now, exactly how much do you weigh?
The girls exchange a startled look, and, unable to talk, start to hold up fingers for their weight, both watching the other and changing their weight to be smaller. Bottom beckons then towards the door, still talking, but is interrupted by Titania.
Titania: What can I do for you, my love?
Bottom stops, stock still, and turns around.
Bottom: What did I tell you to call me? I’ll give you a hint. It was NOT “my love”.
Titania: Oh! Forgive me! I forgot your evilness.
Bottom: Much better. As for what you can do… (He pauses to think, stroking his chin) Exclaiming how intelligent I am is a start. You could guard this room, while I do some tests with the girls… And you could take this potion, I need to test its side effects.
Bottom takes a bottle out from the reaches of his cape with a flourish, handing it to Titania. She takes it, but sets it down on the teacher’s desk, right in front of Oberon.
Titania: Oh of course your evilness. You’re a genius your evilness.
Bottom: I know I am.
Bottom exits with Brittney and Megan in tow. Titania sighs with devotion and sits down, facing the audience. She has a dreamy look in her eyes and is oblivious to the rest of the scene. Oberon and Flute stand. Puck pokes his head in to see if Oberon is there and then enters.
Oberon: There you stand! Do you give assurances to me that your task is completed? Mind me not, the luminescent bulbs are at full capacity so the assignment you undertook must be completed. Is it a possibility to remove the yellowish-blue color from that boy’s cranium? With it in its current condition, him being seen is not optimal. (Gesturing towards Titania after a slight beat) I’m establishing a sense of sorrow due to the condition of my female counterpart. I’ll administer the neutralizer promptly.
Flute: There you are Puck! I trust you did your work? Never mind, you must have, the lights are on again. Could you get rid of the green from that boy’s head? He probably shouldn’t go home with it like that. And I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for Titania. I think I’ll give her the antidote.
Titania: (Ignoring the other people in the room) How wonderfully sinister you are darling…
Oberon looks at Titania pitifully, then moves behind her and taps her on the shoulder. She turns to look at him blankly, and he hands her the bottle of potion. She recognizes it and drinks.
Titania: The experiment? I thought I took this… Never mind, I can’t ruin it! (Waking up) Oberon! What are you doing here! And what am I doing here? Last I remember you were talking to the one I refer to as me in the corridor of this faculty.
Oberon: (Rushing, trying to get to his own question) You were in a state of intense passion with the male who wears black constantly and chortles with and odd sound. But what information did you just impart to this room?
Flute: You took an odd turn and seemed to fall in love with that guy who wears black all the times and laughs very oddly. What did you say, Titania?
Titania: I mentioned before that my most recent mental process was the recalling of the previous event which involved you articulating towards me.
Titania’s eyes grow wide as she realizes what she just said and covers her mouth in astonishment and horror.
Oberon: What? Titania! Why are you speaking that way?
Titania gets an even bigger shock as she realizes that Oberon spoke normally. Flute assesses the situation and starts translating for Titania.
Titania: For what reason are you verbally communicating in the regular manner! I understood that you were lacking the necessary capabilities to let down your dialect to this level!
Flute: Why are you speaking normally! I thought you were too smart!
Puck: Ya boss, what gives!
Oberon: Nothing! Nothing to create apprehension in either of you for any given portion of time.
Flute gives him a nudge and Oberon looks pleadingly at him. Flute shakes his head and Oberon seems to wilt. He starts talking, halting and scared at first, but he gets over it as he warms to what he’s saying.
Oberon: Okay, fine then. The truth is, I’ve always been able to speak like this, I just chose not to. You see, being a nerd is all that I have, it how others recognize me, how they classify me, how they define me when they force me into the little groups they’ve made in their heads. That is, when they even noticed I was alive. And so, I guess I started doing it to myself a bit. I started wearing these glasses, even though I didn’t need them, bought a bunch of shirts that no one in their right mind would wear to school without wanting to get picked on, and adopted a more complex way of speech. And suddenly, I was somebody; I wasn’t ignored or passed over or forgotten. I was that nerd who no one could understand. But that became a problem too, so I hired a translator who could understand my speech. It was great, for a while. The rest of the school could understand me, and I still had my identity, but I treated my translator horribly. He didn’t even know that I could speak normally; I hid it, even from him. I felt like I was on top of everything, but I slipped up, and I found out what living a lie does to you, and those who trust you. I’m still hoping I didn’t lose that friendship forever, but I’m just not sure that it can be patched up. I’ve done too much damage. But I’m willing to try. (To Flute) If you accept my apology can we start over? I do enjoy your company as a friend. I’ve learned my lesson, and I’m not going to try to be something I’m not from now on.
Puck is stunned. Flute opens his mouth to speak, but closes it, not knowing what to say. Oberon turns to Titania.
Oberon: My love what do you say? Do you forgive me? I might be able to reverse the effects of that potion of Bottom’s, if you want.
Titania: Oh, Oberon, do you in all seriousness call to your mind that I could in the lifespan of the universe forgive you for this! You detestable reprobate! You made a false statement to me with the intention to deceive me! How exactly do you understand forgiveness is due in this regard?
Flute: Oh, Oberon, do you really think that I could forgive you for this! You hateful jerk! You lied to me all this time! How could I ever forgive you for that?
Titania stays, to see the full effect of the translation hit Oberon, then smirks and leaves, leaving a devastated Oberon behind her. Puck takes one look at Oberon’s face and hurries out after her, not wanting to have to deal with an emotional breakdown. Oberon spins, and turns on Flute in the throes of his grief.
Oberon: You! This is all your fault! I should have never listened to you and you little “tell the truth” speech! Look what’s happened! Why couldn’t you just leave me alone!
Flute: Oberon, you did the right thing. It’s Titania who’s in the wrong, not you.
Oberon: What do you know! You gave me this stupid advice in the first place! Titania! Come back!
Oberon turns on his heel and runs after Titania, leaving Flute alone. He paces for a moment, then sighs, and sits down on the stage apron.
Flute: I just don’t see where I went wrong! The advice was good, sound, tried and tested, and yet everything seems to be upside down! Oberon is furious at me, and Titania couldn’t even find an ounce of sympathy in that frozen lump she calls a heart. Well, maybe not everything’s upside down. But it’s still not my fault! (Beat) Wait, what am I forgetting… the band!
Flute gets up and leaves at a run. The lights fades to black.
Oberon/Titania's lines are as is in this scene. Tell me if they're still to complex. Please and Thank you.
