*****NOTE: This is a TRUE STORY. Told from my point of view. Absolutely ZERO of this is fake. it is ALL true. All me, all the truth. please enjoy.*****
Have you ever felt alone? Was it so bad that you felt as if nobody truly knew you? Do you know what it feels like to love someone who appears to love you too, only for you to find out they were pretending? Emotionally, were you ever hurt so badly that you really could not take it? That you made up excuses to stay far away from the public because your pain was truly that bad?
I have.
Have you ever avoided someone because you mistakenly thought they were avoiding you? Has the thought "Well, they're ignoring me, so I might as well ignore them." ever crossed your mind? But is that it; was it really just a thought? Was that person really ignoring you, or was it just hearsay?
I have.
Does the idea of being rejected frighten you? So much that you have someone else do everything for you, so you don't have to face it? Have you ever actually been rejected before, whether it be face-to-face, or someone did it for you so it wasn't face-to-face? Have you ever had the feeling that really nobody loved you? Was it ever true?
I have.
Have you ever been in love? Was it the real thing, or just puppy-love? Have you ever experienced love at first sight? Has every love song you know reminded you of that one person? The one that you really, truly feel for, the only one you could honestly say you fell the hardest for, and want to spend every waking moment of the rest of your life with? The one you would do anything for?
It was a cold and cloudy night. A group of then-close friends and I had just arrived at another friend, Zoe's Bat Mitzvah party. Everything was going well. Water was being poured into our glasses, which we drank. Jokes were shared. Appetizers were eaten. We even made a few cracks at how lame the music was. Classical was not our thing. Getting bored after a while, we jokingly slow-danced with each other to the music, swaying in perfect rhythm to the beat. When that song was over, we let go of each other and stood around, mingling with another, waiting for more guests to arrive so the real party could begin. I was talking (or, moreover, my friend Cherise was talking) about the Jonas Brothers and how amazing they were, and I laughed at some things she said, smiled at others.
Then he walked into the room.
The definiton of love never crossed my mind before I met Brett. Having only lived 13 years of my life so far, I didn't find the need to know, let alone think about it. Love at first sight always seemed like just a silly theory to me. People around me would discuss how they think it was "love at first sight" for them and their partner. Did they really understand love, though? Were they aware of the inevitable troubles that would come? At 13, it's kinda hard to understand most anything.
Brett was everything I had ever dreamed of, without all the fake lovey-dovey "knight in shining armor" stuff. Tall, handsome (quite very,) and he had this look to him. One that said that he cared, about everyone he knew. By taking one look at him, you could tell that he was one that truly loved, and was loved. His looks were of un-importance, though he was, as I previously stated, exteremely handsome. He was not one you would call "hot, cute, sexy." Although, if you really wanted to, you could. I preferred to think of him as "beautifully handsome and breath-taking." He was hard to look away from, hard to ignore.
The word "whoa" escaped my mouth when he walked into the ballroom. I was the first to see him. Silencing myself, I'd been completely mezmorized by Brett. He was looking around the room for people he knew, I guessed, and when his eyes met mine, I could've sworn it was Heaven. Thinking I was going to faint, I thought quickly and instead [of fainting], I smiled shyly at him, to which he smiled back, and he turned back to his friends that he walked in with, as I had trouble looking away from him. Cherise had a confused look on her face, I could see from the corner of my eye. She followed my gaze, and soon she saw Brett, too. She held her stare for a moment, until Brett looked back over at us, toward Cherise this time. Once their eyes met, her face went pink. Blushing, she turned away withouth even smiling back at him, and [Cherise and I] smiled awkwardly at each other, thinking both of He Who Just Walked In. Though Cherise merely thought of him as hot and had a brief crush on him for a while, I was different. I had butteflies in my stomach, my throat was dry, and I needed water, with a desparate need to re-apply lip gloss. Suddenly I felt self-conscious in my summer dress, and Cherise and I went back to our friend's table to inform them of He Who Just Walked In. They agreed with Cherise.
"Oh my gosh he's so hot. Cathy, what do you think of him?" my other friend, Torianne said excitedly to me.
My expression was blank for a moment, and I said nothing. Taking a quick grasp on reality, I replied to Torianne, "He's beautiful." My blank expression came back, and Torianne just stared at me. Normally that would've made me feel awkward and self-conscious, but tonight, I didn't mind. Tonight, a lot would happen. Tonight, there were many things that would happen, questioning my grip on reality and faith. Tonight, I would have fun. Tonight, Zoe wouldn't. It was Zoe's special night, and yet, once she and Brett took hold of each other and moved in circles, keeping in tune with the song, Cherise would feel jealousy and give Zoe the cold shoulder, wrongly to never to forgive her again. Some say jealousy is love, but that's not what I was feeling. I was not feeling jealous. I felt love. Pure love, and for Brett. I gave much thought to the topic that night. Most people would think I was crazy, having only met him once at the time,and barely sharing a few words between us. But they didn't know. I did. I knew. I knew I loved Brett. From the moment he walked in the ballroom at Zoe's Bat Mitzvah, to the moment he would walk away at a swim meet six months later, I knew. Everyone knew too, even Brett himself, for I didn't bother to keep my feelings private. Not in this case, anyway. It was love, and I didn't see why it couldn't be shared with the others around me. At thirteen, I shouldn't be having thoughts this serious, but I am.
Brett changed my life. I'm not quite sure for the better or worse or the greater good, but he did. It was May 10, 2008. I had fallen into first love.
Love at first sight.
