Life,Death,and Love(working title)

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Preface:Salem is different from most people,by both her name and occupation.Different is all she has ever known.But,today is just a normal day at work............


"Morning Ray,"I announced as I walked into the building."Good morning,Miss Salem,"he replies.For some reason he loves to say my name.Most people avoid saying it;they must think it will put an evil spell or curse on them.

Ray is a short,44 year-old black man,who handles all of the paper work in the office.I,on the other hand,take care of the patients.

"How many do we have today?"I ask without looking up."Two,"he replies."I'll take Mrs.Thompson first,since I didn't get to finish with her yesterday."

"Alright,if you need anything,you know where to find me."I smile."Thanks,Ray."
I look up at the clock and it says 9:22.I make my way to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee.
As I walk out of the room I take a sip.I then walk into what I call my "office" and pull out drawer #5.
There is Mrs.Thompson,right where I left her.Most people think being a mortician is a disgusting job,but it's not so bad.I could never understand why people are so afraid of the dead.





What do you think so far?Any advice?I know it's a little rough.I'll add the rest of the story later.
"You have bewitched me,body and soul."-Mr.Darcy(Pride & Prejudice)




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its not ban an okay start.
i don't really see any romance though yet.
maybe try to bring that in.
and well i thing i find really wrong is that you don't put spaces after your comas and periods.
its not bad but not really proper grammar.
and it makes it harder for the reader to read it.
Also you are writing in first person so really put her emotions in.
get the reader to really connect to the character.
it a good start though (sorry if i said anything harsh...)




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I'll try spacing it out more.
You arne't being harsh.Any advice you can give is great.
I promise, the romance is coming soon.
"You have bewitched me,body and soul."-Mr.Darcy(Pride & Prejudice)




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 5
hhaha okay.
anyways i didn't find much wrong.
try to make it more detailed though.
it almost looks like you have a base for a good preface.
try to make it a little longer. when you write a preface or a
prologue you want to catch the readers attention.
maybe add little bits and see how it fits in.



Life is a banana peel and I am the fool who dared to tread on it.
— looseleaf