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Young Writers Society
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Dramatic Poetry
Shared love
3 posts
breenuttxo
Gender
Points
890
Reviews
1
Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:28 am
breenuttxo
says...
·
Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:28 am
The moment she let
his car drive away.
The feeling of regret
came to stay.
She knew she should
have done something more.
I kiss goodbye,
as she walked to the door.
anti-pop
Gender
Points
1781
Reviews
143
Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:35 pm
anti-pop
says...
·
Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:35 pm
(Hi! I'm anti-pop, and I'm going to point out some little things that should be corrected)
The moment she let
his car drive away
,
(A comma should be here, not a period)
The feeling of regret
came to stay
(Try not to use too many periods in poetry)
She knew she should
have done something more
;
(Semi-colon)
I kiss goodbye,
as she walked to the door
(Post the whole poem! I'd love to read it! Keep up the good work)
*anti-pop
breenuttxo
Gender
Points
890
Reviews
1
Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:12 pm
breenuttxo
says...
·
Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:12 pm
THANKS
Yeah im going to post it soon once I finish editing it.
"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
Victoria Holt
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Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe