Reflection

Reflect reflection reflect,
Who do you see there?
Reflect reflection reflect,
Why do you have such care?

Outlined in golden trim,
The view outside the rim.
Inside the reflection shows,
What you think, nobody knows.

Elegant intricacy forever engraved,
In the walls of vanity.
Your emotion is your eyes,
Your own critic you can’t defy.

Turn the mirror around,
Let it see itself.
Now look at yourself,
Beyond the mirror’s stealth.

I like it. The rhyming is good and that is nice.

Elegant intricacy forever engraved,
In the walls of vanity.
Your emotion is your eyes,
Your own critic you can’t defy.

I feel that something is missing. It all goes well, but the end...isn't really the end for me. I feel that something needs to be added here. You must either change the entire stanza, or you can add one more line or try to work what you have. Personally, I'd write it all over.

All in all: It is good. It's just the tempo is a bit off, but that doesn't really matter. I like this. I look forward to read more of your work.

Reflect reflection reflect,

Who do you see there?

Reflect reflection reflect,

Why do you have such care?

This was the only stanza I had a real problem with. I didn't like the repetition, in the first and third lines. I understood the imagery you were trying to convey but I think it can be done, without reverting to aping the same, initially flawed imagery.

Beyond that, the notion behind the piece is good, I think and I liked it. I think it could probably have been executed better; for some reason it came across as light and filled with brevity, which is a plus, I guess, as it could be a heavy topic.

In any case, I hope that helped.

Cheers

I really like this poem. The words flow beautifully which makes for a very interesting poem. My only problem was with the repitition. It works with the poem, but it gets old. I like how it talks about what people are trying to hide about theirselves, if I'm correct. That holds too true today where everyone is trying to hide something different.

I really look forward to reading more of your poetry. Great job.

Thankyou everyone!


I agree that it needs something, I think I'll add more to it?


Thankyou!


---Jon---