Everlasting

For the span of a lifetime things may last

or for this precious moment may life run its path

but even as dire and cold is this fair tale

you will still reap for what you did not care.

this was good
but short
too short

i think it would be a lot better, i feel like you can add more

but i like it a lot

This was a short poem, but then again there are a lot of those.
Look at the Red Wheelbarrow. Its really short. Some are even two lines.
But... I would like it more if it was added to. So, all it needs is some polishing up.
If you have any questions, or want another review, PM me.

Really short. Doesn't mean it's bad (it isn't) but you can add so much more.

This was very short.

It really needs more. You explained those 4 lines, but it wasn't enough.

For the span of a lifetime things may last

or for this precious moment may life run its path( A bit unclear, but when you get the idea, it's good. Also add a comma here. Gives it that motion of silence and let's the reader think of what was just said.)

but even as dire and cold is this fair tale

you will still reap for what you did not care.

This will make a good beginning. I feel you can say a lot more. I see what you try to say, but the ending was too abrupt and that's not very nice. You have so much space to say more.

Please PM me when you have written an edited version. I really like where this might go. It is really good. Good work

It's too short, but that would make a good beginning. It's really hard for the reader to grasp what you're talking about.

I love poems that rhyme, so I like this one. But, you should revise and make it clearer and perhaps longer? Readers will get more out of the poem that way. But, I do like it.. I just want there to be more of it? If that makes sense?