Secrets of Desperation ;5

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2384
Reviews 107
(Hahahahah! Thanks to Lucy, I seemed to have reposted a chapter. I get lost with it, sorry. So here is the real chapter five.) I have recently printed out all chapters that I have of this story so far and there's fourteen! So, here's chapter five. I'll probably wait before posting chapter six right away. Anyways, enjoy!



So Intrigued;

Nothing exciting happened in work today. Alicia called in sick today and I got my assigned story today - I requested to choose my own story by 7 o’clock tonight and come in tomorrow with my decision. Sir accepted and I was off to go search what the world was up to. Once again, it was nothing. Things like Lindsay Lohan’s a Lesbian! And what went on over sea’s in North Korea was already things posted and most likely lies. I wrote about things that were important but never really heard, like when the president of M&T Bank turned out to be gay when all this time he’s been harassing gays.

I sighed and relaxed, racking my mind for a story that would satisfy myself, please Sir, and take down Alicia’s little steal. Candice rolled up next to me in a cute dress. It looked like a big jacket with a big collar, long sleeves with cuffs, oversized buttons from top to bottom and a tie band around the waist. It was black and white plaid, wearing a bonnet over her choppy pink hair. I smiled as she sat down next to me and simply stared.

“You’re distraught.” She stated, keeping her expression the same. I laughed - she could read me all too well.

“I’m thinking of what story I should do.” I smiled, looking around the city that was outside of the tall windows.

“I think you should check out D’alle again.” Candice winked, got up and swiftly walked back to her cubical. I leaned back and thought about it: Lucifer would make a pretty interesting story.


I left work early to go around the streets, researching anything on Lucifer. Of course, as usual there was nothing. In the Journalist field of work, there were steps to writing an article, just like there’s steps to a court case or steps to being a teacher. First, we had to think what we were going to write about. I had that step down: Lucifer D’alle. Second, we had to research background information or any other information for that matter. That’s what I was doing this instant on the streets of New York. Third, we must set up an interview with the subject. This was going to be tricky - it’s hard to even see Lucifer in public. After that, we think of interview questions, this means no yes or no questions, no follow up, and no random ones. Questions that can put the interviewee on the spot light is what us main Journalists look for. The next step is to do follow up research, maybe some pictures or any evidence of this person.

When writing the article, you start with background information and then work up to what the article is mainly about. As I walked the streets, I had to strip my brain for any way I could set up a meeting with Lucifer.

When I rounded the corner of my apartment, it hit me. The crab house! I could write about how Lucifer made a disguised appearance in public. But - I needed a picture. Well, a picture wasn’t really a necessity, but having one would really make things work.

I went home quickly and got changed to head into the crab house - I was also curious to how Charlie was doing. When entering the crab house, everything felt strange. I couldn’t put my mind on it, but even when I took off my fall coat to hang up in the back, a chill raced down my back. I looked over my shoulder and saw nothing but just the cooks and waiters racing in and out of the kitchen. I pushed back to look for Charlie or Ellen but neither were there. I turned and walked up to friends from work, asking them where they were.

“Ellen walked in earlier today, but she said nothing. She looked very upset, but left soon after.” Said the bar tender. I pouted and decided that maybe today Ellen was taking care of Charlie. I walked back to get my waist apron and pad, taking my hair down for the day. My dark brown, almost black hair was straight once again today. I took my bangs and pulled out the pin my mother gave me when I was younger to hold them back. When I exited the kitchen, the odd feeling returned and I looked around the restaurant for anything out of the ordinary.

Of course - Lucifer D’alle sat in a booth looking like he did before - eye contacts, no dark circles, old jeans, frayed hair that was protected by a hefty hood. How the public went on without recognizing him amazed me, but I shrugged it off and walked up.

“Welcome back, Mr. D’alle.” I stated, getting my pad ready. “Water again? Or would you like to try something different tonight?” Lucifer rose his head from the menu, glaring at me behind the fake contacts. He smiled to the side that made me want to do… something. I couldn’t choose whether it was smile or sit down and start talking. Instead, I stood there with my pen ready, smiling back.

“Hello.” He smiled even bigger. “I would actually like a seltzer water this time, thank you.” I scribbled down ‘S-water’ on my pad and asked if there was anything else but he didn’t respond right away.

“If you’re not too busy with other tables, would you mind sitting down? I was needing a word with you Miss Avril.” For a moment I forgot I had my name printed on the yellow shirt - but I always thought it was too hard to read right away.

“Well, I do actually have to get started on other waiting tables. But, I am getting off at closing time around ten if you would like to come back then.” I felt odd telling Lucifer D’alle when I was getting off to come talk to me.

“I think I’ll wait here.” He smiled. I nodded and went to get his water. For the rest of the time when I served Lucifer, he just smiled and nodded when I set a refill of seltzer water on his table or when I placed down an appetizer. Around nine-thirty, I walked to go hand him his final platter - desert. I felt he kept ordering food so that he wasn’t wasting a table but really I liked his presence. Sure, when I walked out of the kitchen I got that strange feeling but when he would smile I felt a warm sensation flow over me.

Finally, ten o’clock rolled around and I hung up my apron. I emerged from the kitchen to see one of our bus boys cleaning up Lucifer’s dishes. Lucifer sat with his hands folded on the table. He smiled and nodded to the bus boy, then immediately switched his eyes to me. I walked over and sat down across from him, taking out my clip and placed it in my purse so I could let my hair lose.

“You wanted to talk to me?” I asked, shaking out my dark hair with my hand. Lucifer straightened his back and cleared his throat which made his Adam’s apple bob up and down.

“Yes, I did. I feel a bit bigger for doing it but that’s all right.” He chuckled, indicating all the food he ate. I laughed and itched my ear. When I was nervous or felt odd, I tended to do things like itch my ear. “Miss Avril, excuse me for being so blunt but how exactly did you know it was me the other night?”

“Well…” I didn’t know really how. Was it that hard to spot him? I guess I was just so intrigued by him. “I’m not exactly sure - I think it was the contacts. You had the same eyes, same jaw structure and the same smile.” I shrugged, setting my fall coat on my lap.

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms on the table, taking a good look at me.

“Yes?” I asked, feeling quite uncomfortable.

“Would you like to acquaint me tomorrow night for dinner?” He asked out of the blue. I felt a shock pour over me and my eyes felt detached from my head - as if I was staring to hard. His smile grew and I gathered that I looked funny, so I just looked away and calmed my expression. Should I? Would I, myself, be in the papers? Does Lucifer even know I’m a journalist who is looking to gather any information out of him that I ca- that’s it! I interrupted my own thoughts. This is how I’ll gather my own thoughts for my article.

“Miss Avril?” Lucifer looked at me quizzically.

“Yes! I will.” I smiled big, excitement rise in the pit of my stomach. I think I looked too over excited like the time I got accepted at the Post, but Lucifer chuckled and scooted out of the seat. I did too and pushed back my hair that started to fall in front of my eyes.

“It was a pleasure.” He smiled, “Goodnight.” Lucifer walked past me and out the door onto the streets.
Last edited by day tripper on Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
A little less inhuman.
A little more brutal.
Let the blood be your drug.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 174
I noticed you posted a new chapter, which I can't wait to read so off I go ...

Erm, well, daytripper, you seem to have posted the same chapter twice!! Oopsy =P you may need to sort that out .. when you do post the next chapter then, please PM me as I would love to read it!! I bet this was a secret ploy to get me all excited, and wanting to read the next chapter more .. hmm ... fishy tactics =P :wink:

Anywhooo, can't wait for the next chapter!! :D

--Lucyy xx
"Don't think, or judge. Just Listen."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 174
day tripper wrote:So Intrigued;

Nothing exciting happened in work today. Alicia called in sick today [you've used this twice too closely together, so I would change that :wink: ] and I got my assigned story today - I requested to choose my own story by 7 o’clock tonight and come in tomorrow with my decision. Sir accepted and I was off to go search what the world was up to. Once again, it was nothing. Things like Lindsay Lohan’s a Lesbian! [This sounds like a paper/magazine/internet heading, so I would put it in italics] And what went on over sea’s in North Korea was already things posted [this doesn't make sense, so try rephrasing] and most likely lies. [where is she looking to see all these headings/information? Please tell!! (: ] I wrote about things that were important but never really heard, like when the president of M&T Bank turned out to be gay when all this time he’s been harassing gays.

I sighed and relaxed, racking my mind for a story that would satisfy myself, please Sir, and take down Alicia’s little steal. Candice rolled up next to me in a cute dress. It looked like a big jacket with a big collar, long sleeves with cuffs, oversized buttons from top to bottom and a tie band around the waist. It was black and white plaid, wearing a bonnet over her choppy pink hair. [Great description (: ] I smiled as she sat down next to me and simply stared.

“You’re distraught.[replace with comma]she stated, keeping her expression the same try and word that another way?]. I laughed - she could read me all too well.

“I’m thinking of what story I should do.” I smiled, looking around the city that was outside of the tall windows.

“I think you should check out D’alle again.” Candice winked, got up and swiftly walked back to her cubical. I leaned back and thought about it: Lucifer would make a pretty interesting story.


I left work early to go around the streets, researching anything on Lucifer. Of course, as usual there was nothing. In the Journalist [should journalist be capitalised here?] field of work, there were steps to writing an article, just like there’s steps to a court case or steps to being a teacher. First, we had to think what we were going to write about. I had that step down: Lucifer D’alle. Second, we had to research background information or any other information for that matter. That’s what I was doing this instant on the streets of New York. Third, we must set up an interview with the subject. This was going to be tricky - it’s hard to even see Lucifer in public. After that, we think of interview questions, this means no yes or no type questions, no follow up, and no random ones. Questions that can put the interviewee on the spot light [one word: spotlight] is what us main journalists look for. The next step is to do follow up research, maybe some pictures or any evidence of this person.

When writing the article, you start with background information and then work up to what the article is mainly about. As I walked the streets, I had to strip my brain for any way I could set up a meeting with Lucifer.

When I rounded the corner of my apartment, it hit me. The crab house! I could write about how Lucifer made a disguised appearance in public. But - I needed a picture. Well, a picture wasn’t really a necessity, but having one would really make things work.

I went home quickly and got changed to head into the crab house - I was also curious to how Charlie was doing. When entering the crab house, everything felt strange. I couldn’t put my mind on it, but even when I took off my fall[is that a type of season, like winter or autumn (as we call it here in England) - just thought I'd check, because I'm not too sure =P ] coat to hang up in the back, a chill raced down my back. I looked over my shoulder and saw nothing but [s]just[/s] the cooks and waiters racing in and out of the kitchen. I pushed back [pushed back what?] to look for Charlie or Ellen but neither were there. I turned and walked up to friends from work, asking them where they were.

“Ellen walked in earlier today, but she said nothing. She looked very upset, but left soon after.[replace with comma]said the bar tender. I pouted and decided that maybe today Ellen was taking care of Charlie. I walked back to get my waist apron and pad, taking my hair down for the day. My dark brown, almost black hair was straight once again today. I took my bangs and pulled out the pin my mother gave me when I was younger to hold them back. When I exited the kitchen, the odd feeling returned and I looked around the restaurant for anything out of the ordinary.

Of course - Lucifer D’alle sat in a booth looking like he did before - eye contacts, no dark circles, old jeans, frayed hair that was protected by a hefty hood. How the public went on without recognizing him amazed me, but I shrugged it off and walked up.

“Welcome back, Mr. D’alle.[replace with comma]” I stated, getting my pad ready. “Water again? Or would you like to try something different tonight?” Lucifer rose his head from the menu, glaring at me behind the fake contacts. He smiled[hang on, he went from glaring at her to smiling at her - I'm slightly confused, what was the reason for this change from glaring to smiling?] to the side that made me want to do… something. I couldn’t choose whether it was smile or sit down and start talking. Instead, I stood there with my pen ready, smiling back.

“Hello.” He smiled even bigger. “I would actually like a seltzer water this time, thank you.” I scribbled down ‘S-water’ on my pad and asked if there was anything else but he didn’t respond right away.

“If you’re not too busy with the other tables, would you mind sitting down? I was needing a word with you Miss Avril.” For a moment I forgot I had my name printed on the yellow shirt - but I always thought it was too hard to read right away.

“Well, I do actually have to get started on other waiting tables. But, I am getting off at closing time around ten if you would like to come back then.” I felt odd telling Lucifer D’alle when I was getting off to come talk to me.

“I think I’ll wait here.” He smiled. I nodded and went to get his water. For the rest of the time when I served Lucifer, he just smiled and nodded when I set a refill of seltzer water on his table or when I placed down an appetizer. Around nine-thirty, I walked to go hand him his final platter - desert. I felt he kept ordering food so that he wasn’t wasting a table but really I liked his presence. Sure, when I walked out of the kitchen I got that strange feeling[comma] but when he [s]would[/s] smiled I felt a warm sensation flow over me.

Finally, ten o’clock rolled around and I hung up my apron. I emerged from the kitchen to see one of our bus boys cleaning up Lucifer’s dishes. Lucifer sat with his hands folded on the table. He smiled and nodded to the bus boy, then immediately switched his eyes to me. I walked over and sat down across from him, taking out my clip and placed it in my purse so I could let my hair lose.

“You wanted to talk to me?” I asked, shaking out my dark hair with my hand. Lucifer straightened his back and cleared his throat which made his Adam’s apple bob up and down.

“Yes, I did. I feel a bit bigger for doing it but that’s all right.” He chuckled, indicating all the food he ate. I laughed and itched my ear. When I was nervous or felt odd, I tended to do things like itch my ear. “Miss Avril, excuse me for being so blunt but how exactly did you know it was me the other night?”

“Well…” I didn’t know really how. Was it that hard to spot him? [I would put this in italics as it's a direct thought] I guess I was just so intrigued by him. “I’m not exactly sure - I think it was the contacts. You had the same eyes, same jaw structure and the same smile.” I shrugged, setting my fall coat on my lap.

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms on the table, taking a good look at me.

“Yes?” I asked, feeling quite uncomfortable.

“Would you like to acquaint me tomorrow night for dinner?” he asked out of the blue. I felt a shock pour over me and my eyes felt detached from my head - as if I was staring too hard [awesome description (: ]. His smile grew and I gathered that I looked funny, so I just looked away and calmed my expression. Should I? Would I, myself, be in the papers? Does Lucifer even know I’m a journalist who is looking to gather any information out of him that I ca- that’s it! [Again, this should be in italics as they're direct thoughts]I interrupted my own thoughts. This is how I’ll gather my own thoughts for my article.

“Miss Avril?” Lucifer looked at me quizzically.

“Yes! I will.” I smiled big, excitement rise in the pit of my stomach. I think I looked too over excited like the time I got accepted at the Post [what's that?], but Lucifer chuckled and scooted out of the seat. I did too and pushed back my hair that started to fall in front of my eyes.

“It was a pleasure.” He smiled, “Goodnight.” Lucifer walked past me and out the door onto the streets.


Last Minute Views
Speech
Occasionally, you placed a full-stop within the speech when it was followed by 'he said', 'she asked' etc, and not an action - remember the rule!! I've edited where this has happened for you =D

Overall Thoughts
There was nothing at all major that I could spot, so another great chapter Olivia, I really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next one. Keep writing!! :D

--Lucyy xx
"Don't think, or judge. Just Listen."



The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451