John stood in front of the mirror for a good five minutes. He was short, much shorter than average, but when there wasn't anyone around, his thin build made him appear tall. He brushed his finger along the bumfluff on his face, not even for a minute contemplating shaving. He heard the phone ringing, and his father pick it up. It seemed like a minute at least before he stopped saying "Hello?" and actually heard the person on the other end.
"John, it's for you."
John hurriedly put his T-shirt on, before opening the door to let his father, Kevin Fletcher, pass the phone to John, and walked away, muttering something about "common decency" and "the youth of today".
"Hello?"
"Hi John,"
"Hey Paul!"
"Hi. I was wondering, do you want to come to Moss'?"
John looked at his watch. It was five minutes to twelve.
"Today?"
"Yah!"
"Kah! What time?"
"Uh, I think we're all meeting at about half past. I tried calling you earlier, but you didn't answer."
Yeah, thanks for waking me up!
"Okay, I'll leave in about ten minutes."
"Ten minutes! It doesn't take that long to get there!"
"It does if you're walking. And, knowing me, I'll probably end up being late anyway."
A noise came from the other end of the phone. John wasn't sure if it was an expression of amusement or aggravation, or a mixture of both.
"I still don't understand why you don't cycle."
"Because I can't!" John said, his voice going slightly higher, "Just because you've got excellent hand eye co-ordination and stuff. God, you're such a snob!"
"Hand eye co...what the fuck? Ah, whatever. I'll see you at Moss'."
"Bye."
"Baiya."
"Where's John?" Ron asked nobody in particular.
"Why can't he just be early for once?" Will added, "He's always late!"
The rest of the group, consisting of Paul, Alan, Mike, Emily, Michelle, Lizzie and Leanne, murmured-none in agreement, but rather in the uncomfortable knowledge that they themselves had all kept Will waiting. He was told that they were meeting half an hour before the rest had arrived. That, and the fact that they were not convinced Will was telling the truth-it was common knowledge that he always took the opportunity to abuse John.
"Hey guys!"
The voice was not John's-it was that of Harry Mason, a long haired "metal head". Of course, there was a reason why the group had not been complaining behind his back about his poor punctuality. He always chose to be late, as it was common for everyone else to be late. Not that they liked his attitude.
"Harry, every time!"
"Well, you guys are always at least five minutes late, so whenever I'm early I always have to wait ages."
He grinned fiendishly.
"Sorry about that Will."
"About what?"
"Oh, you don't know?"
"Know what?"
"Nothing."
"No, Harry, what?!"
"Nothing! Nothing important."
He was, of course, referring to the prank that he, Mike and Paul had pulled on Will. It was no coincidence or mistake that Paul had told him to be at the park at twelve, half an hour before everyone else.
Harry sat down on the grass, with the rest. They had formed a circle, and after Harry arrived there was still space for one more.
"Where's John?" Harry asked.
Will shrugged. Within seconds, as if on cue, Mike got up and ran at the approaching figure of John, followed by the rest of the boys in the group-the girls held back and watched, as John, in an intentionally comical manner, ran away, behind the nearby scouts hut, dodging past his friends as they attempted to surround him. Eventually, Ron caught him. John managed to escape, but, considerably slowed down and losing his stamina and momentum, found himself on a collision course with Will.
Will was much larger than John-he was larger than most people. But he was also very unbalanced, and so fell over upon colliding with John-John got away with what he decided was very mild concussion.
"Ow, fuck!" Will shouted angrily.
"Oops, sorry."
John helped Will up, and the friends walked towards the four girls, who stood there laughing. One, short haired, her features not particularly attractive but far from ugly, approached Paul, and hugged him affectionately. When another girl, much larger (in every dimension) than the other girls but still of what most would consider average stature, approached the couple, Paul broke the hug and pointed at John.
The two girls skipped over to John.
"Hi John!" the short haired one said, "I'm Elizabeth, you can call me Lizzie. This is Leanne. Paul's told us a lot about you."
"Oh, hi! Um, Paul's told me a bit about you, too."
"Really!" Lizzie squeaked, "What sort of things has he told you?"
"Uh...just...general...stuff."
Lizzie nodded slowly.
"General stuff. Okay."
Lizzie laughed, and sat down, remaking the circle of friends. John and Leanne did the same.
John didn't listen to half of what people were saying. Their conversations seemed not to involve him very much-usually something along the lines of a party that they went to, or some people which everyone but John knew. Instead, he simply looked at the clouds, enjoying the warmth of summer, listening occasionally to the music playing from people's phones, now and again tuning into a conversation, usually losing interest.
It was over an hour before anyone said anything directly to him.
"Hey John, what you doing in two weeks?" asked Mike.
"Hmm? Oh, uhm, I'm going on holiday. Turkey, again."
"Oh." Mike looked disappointed, "Because it's Michelle's birthday."
John looked at Michelle.
"Oh, sorry. Well, happy birthday anyway."
You're not really my friend, anyway.
Michelle gave him another of her obviously faked smiles-obviously fake to nobody but John.
"That's okay."
She probably doesn't want me to come anyway.
"How long you going on holiday for?" Lizzie asked.
"Two weeks."
"Oh right...wait a minute."
Lizzie used her fingers to do some maths, then laughed when Paul whispered something in her ear.
"'Cause it's my birthday soon, so you can come to that...wait...yes, you can!"
Lizzie double checked the mathematics involved, and smiled.
"Oh okay. So who else will be there?"
"I'm not sure yet." Lizzie said, twisting her lip, "I haven't discussed it with my mum and dad yet."
As the day drew on, different parts of the group began to move around again-Mike was chatting up Michelle, Paul and Lizzie were busy sucking the other's face off, Will, Alan and Harry were listening to Folk music and discussing their next "cake day" and how they would acquire the "cake" now that their usual "baker" was no longer available, while the rest sat on a bench, talking about whatever came to their mind. Emily and Leanne went into an improvised song, which John instantly recognised to be in the style of a "crimp" from the Mighty Boosh.
"You like the Mighty Boosh, too?" he said, excitedly.
"Who doesn't like the Mighty Boosh?" Leanne asked.
"Well," Ron said, "I've only seen a couple of episodes, and it does look pretty, well, shit."
"Fuck off!" John said, jokingly.
"Why don't you like the Mighty Boosh?" Emily asked.
"It's stupid. And boring-none of the jokes actually make sense or anything."
"It's genius, if you ask me. The Monty Python of the early twenty first century."
"I don't like Monty Python." Emily said.
The others gasped in shock.
"Sorry!"
The sun began to set, and the group began to leave again, in high spirits.
"So are you free next week?" Mike asked John.
"Most days. My Australian relatives are coming over, though, so I might not be free every day, and it's someone special's-I don't know who, a cousin of an auntie of a cousin of an uncle or something weird-fiftieth anniversary next saturday. Not tomorrow, the one after."
"Oh right. So exactly when do you leave for Turkey?"
"Uh, two weeks yesterday. Oh yeah, and I'm going to Monkey World the Tuesday after next. Woot!"
Harry, who was about to cycle home, heard the word "monkey", and spontaneously jumped in between John and Mike, flailing around in a terrible yet hilarious impression of a caveman.
"STEVE SMASH!"
The trio laughed at Harry's apparent insanity, and said goodbye, looking forward to whenever they next met up.
