Note: Thank you, for those who are reading and critiquing. If you ever need me to critique something, just ask ^_^ After this chapter, it'll go back to 1934 and it'll be in Laura's point of view. There will be a couple of chapters for her and then I will bring Marshall back. Wait till you see what he was like before the war! Anyways, enjoy!!!
~Angel
Secrets of the Unfaithful
By Angel of Death
Chapter 3
I had not been able to go to sleep. The pain switched off and on like the voices on the radio on a wintry day. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead and waves of heat washed over my body. Then, as if I were dreaming, the hot flashes would turn into cold shivers running up and down my spine. I tried closing my eyes but all I saw was the blackness of my eyelids. And even in darkness, I was still suffering.
Sleep would not come and for once, I was glad it didn't. If I were to fall into my dreams, she'd find me. I could just imagine her now, on the lam with nowhere to go. Our son huddled close to her, struggling. Damn this war and the draft. Damn it to hell.
Something blurred my vision and then rolled down my cheeks. The strange liquid hit my lips, tasting like sodium induced water. It was hot and calming, but yet my heart was falling apart. Before I could question what was happening, noises start pouring of of my lips. Sobs, cries for mercy, some would call it. I wanted to hide my face in shame, but then reality struck me hard. I had no arms to hold my child, if I came out of here alive. I could no longer cup Laura's head and kiss her deeply. And I had no hands to shield my face from everyone else around me. I felt naked, as if someone came and ripped my skin back from the bones and flesh, to reveal my thoughts and feelings.
The sky was turning a darker shade, it was almost noon. Lucy would be here at lunch time. She'd see my tears and think that I was weak or a child. Heck, she already thought of me as some little old kid with a chubby face and dimples. Before anyone could see, I quickly rubbed my head against the pillow. There were probably remnants of my sorrow still buried on my cheeks but who would see them other than me?
Two nurses came into the room, breaking me from my thoughts. One was a round woman, with tawny gray eyes and short blond hair. She never talked, but you could tell her eyes were forever watching. If I were not in my right mind, I'd think she was a mind reader. It was often I caught her staring at me with that ever-wondering gaze of hers. She lent me that gaze now. To make sure my privacy wasn't being evaded, I clamped my head and thought of nothing but the dry pancakes from this morning's breakfast. I was hungry. I hadn't realized it until the picture of crusty bread smothered with hot syrup entered my mind. There was a loud clank and then I opened my eyes. The other nurse, whose name I did not know, was setting a bin on the other cot. She smiled at me when she caught me staring. I tried to return the gesture but I think I've forgotten how to pull my lips up. There was a sponge floating around in some water inside the bin. They were going to give me a bath. Staring down at my severed arms, I sighed. My dressings needed to be changed anyway. They were starting to itch and if I smelled real hard, I could smell dead flesh and blood. Its scent was salty, almost like the ocean. The round nurse pulled back my blankets and carefully slipped off my pants. My skin was paler than usual. I've lived for so long without sunlight, that I am almost transparent. It felt good for my skin to breath though. Lucy always piled blanket after blanket on me. There were many times when I told her that I was hot and she had not listened. Silly girl. Oh the things I could do without her. I felt a warm sponge move gently up and down my leg. It was the other nurse. The one with the smile. She had long brown hair and a face that wasn't as appealing as some. Her eyes were too small and her lips weren't proportioned with her jaw or nose. I wouldn't judge her for her appearances though. She was no Lucy and I was fine by that. After she lathered my legs in soap and water, the other nurse dried me off. They did my upper body as well and then left. The brown-haired one took one last glance and then blushed immensely, as she walked out of the room.
Lucy was my next visitor. She brought with her bandages to replace my soaking wet ones. After changing them, she sat down in her spot and stared at me. I wanted to say something smart but I didn't. Instead, I grunted and waited for her to say something.
"Are you hungry?" she asked, her hands folded neatly in her lap.
"No," I replied, yawning. The conversation had not gone anywhere after that. Lucy had tried asking why I was so tired-looking, but I only told her that it was the lack of sunlight that was draining my energy. Her eyes lit up at this, and she promised that she'd take me for a stroll sometime. There was a low rumble in my stomach and Lucy heard it. She smirked and rolled her eyes.
"I knew you were hungry,"
"No! Please don't feed me anymore of this crap." I said, my eyes widening.
"You must eat something." she countered, sighing.
"I'll eat my own legs before I eat that. Lets just get started..."
"Fine."
I watched as she pulled out a small black notebook, with a pen attached to it. She opened up to the first crisp page and smoothed it out. Then, with hungry eyes she wrote something down in cursive and then looked up at me.
"How the hell are we going to do this? You ask the questions and I answer or do you want me to start from the beginning?"
"Will it be good?"
"I doubt it."
"Well then shoot."
"Right. Very appropriate for a wounded soldier.
"Sorry."
Rolling my eyes, I took a deep breath and thought back to before everything. To before I met Laura, to before this war, and to before I gave up on God.
^
The smell of eggs and bacon woke me up from my slumber. Some time in the night, Nate came over and curled up beside me. His hair was resting on my cheek, and his soft snores left his lips in tired intervals. Not wanting to stir him, I slowly got up from the cot and tip-toed to the door. A pale light poured into the room, as I eased the door open. Tiny feet ran across the roof and danced on the windowpanes. It was raining outside. I hated the rain. There was rain when my mother died. God cried when my father excommunicated me from his love and the tears poured from heaven, the day they brought Marshall home in a casket. Perhaps, my prayers weren't answered. Today was probably going to be another dreadful day.
I found John in the kitchen. He was wearing a white T-Shirt and some checkered pajama pants. His feet were bare and his short hair was sticking up in different places.
"Good Morning," I said, softly. John turned away from the stove and looked at me. His golden greeting made my cheeks turn red. Why was it that I continuously blushed in front of this man? We held each other's gaze for a moment and then John's smile puckered up and his face deepened in color.
"Good Morning. Um...did you sleep well?"
"Yes." I lied. All I could do was toss and turn. Sleep took me in first few hours of the morning and even then I wasn't free.
"You can't leave us," I whispered, nestling my head in his lap. His cool hands caressed my face, and soft kisses made the tears fall endlessly. We could hear kids playing somewhere in the park. Their laughs, made me think of Nate. He would never be able to laugh or smile again, if he lost his father. This wasn't right. It wasn't fear. We had finally got a chance to live our lives together, and then this war was thrown at us.
"Laura, I don't want to leave you. I would give anything to stay but I could be imprisoned if I don't do as told. A draft is a draft."
"Then be imprisoned. At least you'll be alive by time this war is over." Marshall pulled me up so that I was facing him. His eyes were red and his black curls were strewn all over the place.
"I love you and my love for you will is what's going to bring me home."
Those were the last words he had spoken to me before he left. His departure marked a series of events that set all the good times on fire. They burned and charred until they were only ashes. Until they were only memories. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and then a hand was on my shoulder, breaking me from my reverie.
"Laura? Are you okay?"
Nodding, I placed my head in my hands and took deep breaths. I couldn't let the past taint my son's future or mines for that matter. John didn't need to know what had happened so long ago, and I wouldn't dear let him find out. Sighing, I looked up at him and let my face be consumed by a smile. Setting a plate down in front of me, John took his place in a chair across from mine, and we ate in silence.
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I still have to write the other half of this chapter. What do you think of it so far? Do I need more descriptions or do you have any suggestions. I hope you enjoyed and I appreciate any and all comments.
Thanks,
~Angel
hehe