Here is a scene from my story. Its an alien meets human story, but this is a normal scene which i think adds humanity to my characters, because although they are different species, they are still both teenagers! Basically, Helena has decided to move away from Henry (he's the alien!) for their own good, there will be a conflict to mix things up a bit but i wont explain that now!
hope you like it, constructive criticism please! x“You know why I have to do this, don’t you?” I asked tentatively, trying to avoid looking at Henry, for fear that direct sight of him and his beauty would persuade me to stay.
“I understand why you’re doing it,” Henry said in a sour tone. He folded his arms across his chest.
“Henry…” I sighed and went to take his hand. He snatched it away quickly and took a step away from me, with a look of utter fury.
“… Don’t,” he snapped, “just don’t touch me”
“Why are you being like this?” I asked waveringly.
He exhaled loudly and looked down at the ground. I stood in silence, wary of his response. I looked up at the trees which soared majestically above us. If I were standing before anybody else, I might have admired their sheer superiority and splendour. But I overlooked their striking autumnal colours; I ignored the way that they reached out, their sturdy branches arching over us lovingly. Their beauty could never have matched that of Henry’s and they seemed to know that just as much as I did.
A gust of wind rippled towards us and as it encountered my skin, it forced me to shiver.
“Are you cold?” Henry asked all of a sudden, standing motionless before me.
“Yes, but I’m fine…”
“You’re not. Wear my jacket,” Henry demanded. He shrugged off his jacket and put it on me gently moving my hair out from under the collar gently. Wearing his jacket was like being encapsulated in his embrace and I tried to ignore the way it soothed and allured me, tempting me to stay. His breath tickled my neck and for a moment, I wondered why I was even considering leaving. My head took over my heart faster than I wanted it to and I regained my composure, stepping away from Henry. He groaned with frustration.
“You’ll never feel like this again. You do know that, don’t you?” he whispered. His voice seemed to block out any other sound, yet it was still as gentle and soothing as the most delicate of butterflies.
“Feel like what?”
“This,” he raised his voice, “us”
I contemplated my reply for what seemed like forever. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, the words just dissolved back into it, and remained fixed upon my tongue, too stubborn and persistent to be let out.
“Do you wish we’d never met?” Henry asked frankly. That sparked my vocalization.
“No!” I shouted, louder than I’d intended, “why would you think that?”
“You’re leaving me,” Henry stated, as if I wasn’t aware of that fact, “that kind of speaks for itself, Helena”
“I never had you down as the bitter type, Henry,” I admitted, disappointedly.
“Oh, come on!” he exhaled noisily, raising his arms in the air in mock despair, “I’m not bitter. This isn’t an ordinary situation, Helena. Don’t you know that?”
“Of course I fucking know that!” I yelled at him. I immediately regretted it as soon as the words had left my lips. Henry didn’t look angry or hurt, he didn’t even look offended. He just stood there looking at me. His face was entirely expressionless and his body language; completely neutral.
I shifted from foot to foot, biting my lip nervously. A thousand thoughts ran through my head, but again, I was powerless when it came to voicing any of them. Henry sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair tensely.
“Why are we arguing?” he whispered
“Because it’s all we can do,” I smiled slightly, only to show Henry that I wasn’t as angry anymore rather than because I was happy.
“It’s stupid,” Henry said softly, “if you’re leaving, we haven’t got much time left together; we need to make the most of it… That’s only if you’re leaving though?” he looked at me hopefully.
“I am leaving” I began, not only trying to convince him, but also myself “I have to. It’s for the best”
“The best for whom?”
“Both of us.”
“Not for me, it’s not. I’ll never agree to that, Helena. How is the only person I’ve ever cared about, the only person I’ve ever loved leaving what’s best for me?” Henry’s voice wavered and I thought for a moment that he was about to cry. But then I remembered; he couldn’t cry, he’d never been able to and he never would be. He’d always said that he’d never wanted to cry but as he looked directly at me, just for a split second, I saw a look of wistfulness in his eyes, almost as if he wished that he could.
“Helena! Come on, we have to go!” Jenny put her head out of the car window and called over to me. I waved a hand in her direction to tell her that I wasn’t ready yet.
“Its fine,” Henry decided, “go now”
I looked up at him longingly but he refused to meet my gaze.
“She’s waiting for you,” Henry looked over at Jenny, “you’d better go”
“Do you want me to?”
“Goodbye, Helena,” Henry leant over and kissed me distantly on the cheek, “take care of yourself”
“I do love you…” I started
“… You should go,” Henry interrupted, ignoring me. He kissed me on the lips so tenderly that I began to think he'd finally accepted my decision and was saying goodbye properly. But he pulled away too soon and too abruptly. He didn’t say another word; he just turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, alone.
As soon as he was out of sight, I erupted into tears, sobbing uncontrollably, unable to fight them back. I couldn’t help but doubt myself, was my decision the right one? Was it wrong? At that moment, it seemed almost impossible to differentiate between the two…
