Festival

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laidlaw89 wrote:I approach the heart, freedom in hand

among the revellers in reverence, timed in their laughter.

Hope sitting gingerly, tickling the sun in open heartache,

The flow that was building in the first two lines fell apart in the third. Divide the third line or take out some of the unnecessary verbs (and there are plenty of unnecessary words in this poem) such as "timed" "gingerly" "open", etc.

towns arising throughout envy

Anger surplus and ignorance futile,

the aroma content throughout erratic teasing

Introductions from history and farewells to tomorrow

The first three lines in this quote were well done and I appreciate the way you use balancing and foil the statements off one another - subtly through differentiation. Once more, though, the last line is the bane of the section; it sounds like something on an inspirational poster and I strongly feel it should be deleted outright. If you really want to keep it, alter it and make it more concrete rather than vague ideas about "history" and "tomorrow" floating around in the clouds.

litter a glowing optimism

Herds changed from infectious rowd to seasoned openness

ubiquitous joy quickly turns to eternal forgetfulness

eyes are closed and the soul is cleansed

Until to the belly of the beast we return

Good. Allusions are done in quality taste and the climax spirals off toward the conclusion instead of just dropping, which I must also commend you for doing. I was able to catch more imagery here and it places this poem high above what I was originally expecting.

The first lines of your poem are weak, but the middle and the end is very good; use that as a template to mold your opening so that it draws the reader in (which right now it really doesn't).