Not All is a bed of Roses chptr.1

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OK so this is pretty basic. I don't use a rich vocabulary in this kind of text because as it has a narrator that's a high school student I don't think she would write that way. Anyway hope you like it and comments are welcome (even the harsh ones) that will help me improve :D It will be more interesting on chapter two.
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1. Meet Me

I must alert immediately to any future readers (highly doubt that there will be any), but I never completed a diary. I only wrote some pages and then got sick of it. And I don’t put the day or year, I’ll leave that out, so that years from now when I read it I won’t think “Oh, this was so long ago, when life was easy”; it really isn’t, I particularly hate mine.
This that I’m writing it’s kind of a late diary. The story I’m going to tell has already been in about 4 months. Because I love to keep memories, I wanted to write every detail of it, in here so that I won’t forget (highly doubt that too).
I think I haven’t said but this book is a romance, so if you're not in the mood for some love, or initiating a depression, this isn’t for you.
In schools there's always that girl the populars make fun of, and the boys never take a second look.
I’m kind of that girl. In the whole school, in all eight hundred students I only got one friend that I completely trust. That’s Rachel, or Rach as I call her. She… I don’t have words to describe her. She’s that person that you’ll follow to hell, because you know she would do it for you. That person that you don’t have to explain, she gets it immediately. She understands me (and believe me that's hard, especially understanding me).
I've got more friends but she's my best friends. i know her longer and I trust her more.
My name is Katherine, and I’m 16 years old. I go to High School MarDemente. It’s a public school from 5th grade to 12th grade. I would like it if it wasn’t like a normal high school. Groups, popular ones, cheer leading cocky girls, and soccer players who think they rock and every girl has fallen for them.
Well, these people don’t even know I exist. Thank god, because I don’t want to have to deal with them. It doesn’t help that I like rock music, black and skulls.
I’m not gothic, I just love them. Many mistakes me for gothic or emo. It also doesn’t help that I don’t dress up. I might wear skirts, but normally I’m not in the mood.
My family… well my dad is a university English teacher and my mom is a famous executive. She leaves early for work and comes late, as my father. My older sister, she’s kind of cool, if she only minds her own business. She isn't at home either, she's got her own place. So I'm usually alone.We live in a neighbourhood really nice. It’s kind of upper class, but not that fancy, because we are not rich. Just wealthy.
I guess it’s the time to tell about myself. Ok... So my favorite color is black (you already now that). I like to spend time alone, as with people. I like silence. I like rock. I’m nice (at least i have been told I’m nice), but I can be thought too. When i’m mad, people better not mess with me. My patience limit is very low, I’m bossy and I don’t like to work with incompetent people. In group works, I usually stay with Rach, she’s the only one I knew that could keep up with me (Except for him. Well that’ll come later). I have constantly changes of humor. I can be happy and five minutes later be sad.
My class... I have some friends. Stephanie always cheers me up with her funny and mostly happy humor. Lisa is an amazing person. She has a view of life that would wow most of you. I can’t put it to words. James is cool too. He’s smart, nice, but some times he has improper comments (in a guy way). There’s John, who’s a nice guy too. Lucy is a bit crazy. She does the most crazy things, is extremely naughty and laugh all the time. A girl that can make you laugh hysterically too. And then there’s Ashley and her little group: Chloe, Johanna and Cassandra. The school girl leaders. Who would dare to oppose them?
In romances we have the lead characters. Obviously I’m the female heroin, even if I don’t sound like one. Usually they have a melodious name, like Fleur or Melody. Mine is Kate. Kate Fremont. It isn’t anywhere near melodious. It’s more like Kate, the friend. Not Kate, the pretty girl in the next class. And they usually have long silk like legs and huge chest. Well, I do have long legs, but so much for the silk like. I’m 1.68 cm high, and I am a B cup. Not bad really. But people always compares me to my sister, that is 2 years older than me and has C cup.
Anyway, the hero still isn’t in the scene but i’ll get to it. The plaster, by other hand is obviously Ashley. She’s that type of girl. The fake one. She faked to be my friend for a while. She’s cocky, and very self-centered. Resuming, the typical hot cheerleader without anything in her head. If she does have a brain, she only uses it to schemes for her good and to screw other people life's.
No one has ever broke up with her. Don’t know if for fear or for liking being popular. She is always the one who tells them to take a hike.
Last edited by *writewatiwant* on Sun Nov 16, 2008 10:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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I like this! This sounds good!!
First off, you need to capitalize some of your I's in this post. And the beginnings of some sentences.
I'm 1,68 cm high

Ok, that doesn't even look that right. If you meant to put a period instead of a comma there, that means it will read, 1.68 cm. I really don't think she is that tall either.

but not that fancy, because we are not rich. Just wealthy.

You need to take out that comma between fancy and because. Also, isn't rich and wealthy the same thing?

That is really all I caught, so here you go! Can't wait to see where you will take this! :D
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Someone told me wealthy was something under rich. LOL I'm going to review it. thanks for the help!
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