For you I stand

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Hope you like it! If Galerius reviews on this one saying it's crap again I'll assume you have something agaisnt my poems!

____________________________________

Broken dreams
Are my thoughts every moments
Sorrow is in my eyes
Solitude knocks on my door
A person can't stand such madness
I never knew i could feel such things
Such sadness

These feelings can corrupt a person
I stay strong
I convince myself that nothing is wrong
And I ignore your promises
Finest ones, I must say
Much have you done, none have you kept
You sang to me, while i slept
Cheered me up, when I was sad
And hold me back, when I was mad
When I fell asleep crying, you gave me your hand
For all that, I'm not giving up
Despair won't win
For you,
I stand
Last edited by *writewatiwant* on Sun Nov 16, 2008 1:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don't spell it. You feel it.

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Hi, you don't know me, but I know you. Or at least, I can see you through this window, in your room. Don't turn around.

Review powers.. activate!

These feelings can corrupt a person
I stay strong
I convince myself that nothing's wrong
And I ignore your promises
Finest ones, I must say
Much have you done, none have you kept


I think the " 's " on nothing makes it possessive. It kinda confuses me, either "wrong" belongs to nothing or nothing is wrong. (Not as in a person being wrong). This may only confuse me because i pay attention to small details. It probably doesn't even matter.

You sang to me, while i slept
Cheered me up, when I sad
And hold me back, when I was mad
When I fell asleep crying, you gave me your hand
For all that, I'm not giving up
Despair won't win
For you,
I stand


I think that the line "while I sad" should be like "while i'm sad" or something like that. It kinda seems like my little sis talking. If that was you goal, then *applause* otherwise..

Good poem over all. :wink:




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Gender Female
Points 10701
Reviews 356
thanks. you were right about the mistakes. thanks again for the review :D
Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don't spell it. You feel it.

The Buddy System Check us out!



Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.
— Roy T. Bennett