I'm not sure if I'll be posting during the weekend,
I want to edit some minor details in the final chapter.
So, yup, hope you enjoy this second last chapter!
Thanks for all your help!
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Finding out I love him, only to have my heart broken. Someone just kill me already.
Other methods of slow and painful deaths would not have come close to the anguish I felt. The time I ever felt something for a boy other than as a brother and look how well it turned out. My first instinct was to go to the shelter of my room, and to the comfort of Miranda.
Miranda.
She had something lined up for me. I couldn’t disappoint her. I’ll just have to try and brave it.
I stopped outside my door and gulped a hug mouthful of air, bracing myself and wiping my tears away. Not that wiping my tears did anything good, as fresh tears still trickled down my face. I opened the door.
“Congrats on winning and happy bir-” Miranda stopped in mid-sentence, looking at me in horror. I saw my reflection in the mirror behind her. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, my clothes soaked, my hand wet and every other indication that I had been crying a hell lot, was completely visible.
“Hey, Miranda. Thanks for going through all the trouble to arrange this.” I tried to plaster a fake smile which came out looking quite bleak.
“What happened?” Miranda demanded.
“Nothing.” I mumbled. I was losing my cool.
“Don’t kid with me, Elizabeth. I want to help. What happened?”
“I …he …he…” I lost my cool. Tears gushed out of my eyes and I could not speak further.
“What did Alex do?” She asked sharply. Man, she knows me better than I give her credit for.
“H-he k-k-kissed h-her.”
“Alyssa?!” She growled. How does she know these things?
I nodded, the tears coming down my face in torrents.
“That bitch. She was talking about Alex being hers, during our meals. I thought she was just deluding herself. Damn it, when I get my hands on her.” Miranda snarled.
“It’s n-not her f-fault. S-she already w-warned me that h-h-he was h-hers.”
“You truly love him.” It was a statement, a fact. Not a question. I just sobbed harder, my entire frame shaking.
She was tactful enough not to press further. “Try to cheer up a bit Liz, you won the state championship and it’s your birthday today. Plus, I got you a present. Here.”
She placed a red soccer ball, next to me. “It’s the same shade as your miniskirt.”
I remembered how we had won the championship, how I trusted Alex and passed the ball to him. I remembered the birthday present the boys got me, the bracelet with their faces on it, including Alex. I remembered how he had kissed my forehead at the end of the game. I remembered how he had called me beautiful when I wore that miniskirt. The soccer ball reminded me of how this sport had brought us close together. And now we’re torn apart. I added sadly.
I buried my head into my hands and sobbed louder. Damn, I’ve got it bad. Real bad. Everything freaking reminds me of him.
“I’m s-sorry Miranda. But e-everything r-reminds me of h-h-him. I-including t-that.”
“That’s okay. I’ll keep it first.” She smiled sympathetically. I didn’t think I’d ever want to see that ball again.
“I guess I’ll g-get some h-homework done.” I mumbled, shuffling to the table and sitting down.
I picked up my pen and looked at my Spanish homework. Memories flooded back again. This was the pen I dropped on purpose to avoid his lopsided smile. It’s the same colour as his eyes. I remember when he accidentally asked me to kiss him… I dropped my pen and brought my hands to my face.
“I c-can’t do t-this Miranda. I-I just can’t.” I wept. “Everything r-reminds me of h-h-him.”
“Shh-shh.” She hugged me, patting my hair and wiping my tears, trying to soothe me. “Just have some rest, Liz. It’ll be alright, just try not to think about it.”
She led me to my bed and tucked me under the covers and I turned so that I faced the blank wall. I could hear the rustling sounds Miranda made as she cleared the decorations she had set up. A small part of me felt guilty for wasting her painstaking efforts, but it wasn’t the biggest thing on my mind at that moment.
Out of the blue, we heard a knock on the door. I didn’t turn, I just stared at the blank wall, hoping that it would suddenly crumble and crush me to death.
“Miranda, let us in! We need to talk to Liz!” It was the boys.
“If you’re there, Alex, you better get the hell outta here before I beat you up, you asshole!” She snarled at the door. My heart skipped a beat when I heard his name being mentioned.
“He’s not here, we promise!” She looked through the door’s peephole. He mustn’t be there because she opened the door and walked out, closing it behind her. No use, I heard everything.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY FREAKING IDEA WHAT THAT BASTARD DID TO ELIZABETH?!” She screamed.
“We know! We’re with Liz! Alex is an idiot. He hurt our sister’s feelings. WE CARE FOR HER TOO!”
“Why the hell did he kiss her?!” She hissed.
“We don’t know! We just saw him kissing her, but we also saw Liz running out of the field, so we followed her!”
“Do you have ANY damn idea how she feels right now?!”
“No, but we came her to comfort her!”
“She’s in a bloody bad shape right now and it’s that IDIOT TAYLOR’S FAULT! He’s SO DEAD when I find him!”
“Not if we find him first! Now can we see Liz? PLEASE?”
Miranda poked her head in, “Liz, they want to speak with you.”
“I’m s-sorry. But I c-can’t. T-tell them it’s not h-h-his f-fault. H-he’s free to l-l-l-love w-whoever he w-wants. I j-just n-need to deal with t-this.” I whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.
The door closed again. “She apologises, but she’s not in the best state to speak right now. I would really appreciate it if you leave and give her some time to think first.”
“Fine. But tell her, we’re her brothers and we love her. No one gets away with messing with her.”
The door opened and Miranda returned, locking the door behind her.
“Sleep, Liz.” Miranda cooed, patting me gently. She placed my bag, which the guys returned, at the foot of my bed. “Oh, and the guys were hoping you’d still keep the bracelet they gave you. They said you could use a permanent marker to black out his face if you want.”
I stared at the blank wall with tears still streaming down my face, silent, until I finally drifted off to sleep.
Even in sleep, I could not stop thinking of him.
***
I refused to go for breakfast the next day. Miranda offered to fetch me something to eat, but I declined.
“Elizabeth, you haven’t eaten your dinner and now you’re skipping breakfast? At least eat something. When I see you like this I’m sad too. Please make an effort not to starve yourself.”
I still had to go for classes. That didn’t mean I had to smile.
When I walked into first period Trigonometry, my seat was taken up by one of the Tennis jocks.
“They said you’re sitting over there.” He motioned to an empty table with my name written on a piece of paper and stuck to it. I sat down, with a dead look on face, and read my textbook. It was still early and the class was quite empty, until a group of students came in.
It was Daniel, Jackson, Greg, William, Sean, Lance, Tyler, Kyle and Miranda. They spotted me and quickly rushed to my side.
“You’re sitting here with us now, Liz. We’ve made some adjustments to the class seating.”
I nodded numbly then returned to reading my textbook, the words not actually sinking in.
“I know you don’t feel like talking or anything, but do us a favour and read this letter we penned for you.” Daniel handed me a thin slip of paper. I opened it to read.
Dear Elizabeth,
Don’t worry, we won’t mention that bastard’s name. We just wanted to tell you that we’re here for you, and we’ll protect you. He won’t get near you. If he dares, he’ll have to get through us, unless you order us away. We also wanted to invite you to the “Monochrome Prom” the school is holding at the end of this month. The entire team, except him, will be your date and escort, if you would so kindly grant us the honour of taking you to prom.
Underneath, the rest of the football team’s signatures, excluding his, was included. I also noticed there were a lot of F-words in it, though I did not care to spell it out. I folded it up and turned to Daniel, and nodded slowly. I heard him, Greg, William and Jackson whoop. Sean just placed a hand on my shoulder, a gesture of comforting.
He walked in, and group that had come in and talked to me immediately stood in front of me, blocking him from my view.
“You’re seat is there.” Daniel hissed, pointing to the seat in the corner furthest away from me.
“Guys, it’s all a misunderstanding. You have to let me explain-“
“We don’t want to hear it, Taylor. There’s nothing to explain or justify how you hurt Liz.” Jackson growled.
“But I didn’t mean to-”
“To what? Hurt Liz? Well you did. So save your excuses for someone who cares.” Greg snapped
“You gotta listen, I-”
“We don’t want to hear what you have to say and neither do we care.” William snarled.
“BUT-“
“We always thought you two would end up together, you know. Wasn’t it obvious that she liked you, Taylor? Did you have to go break her heart? What kind of sick person are you?” Sean asked, his tone harsher than I’d ever heard.
“Class, please get settled down.” Mr. Walter strolled in and began lessons, ending the conversation.
***
Throughout the next fortnight, everything was very routine. The boys would surround and enclose me wherever I went, except of course, when I had to go to the bathroom or change and there was no need for them when I was in the safety of my room. Alyssa couldn’t even approach me to gloat, as the boys were also sort of hostile towards her. Still, she would pass me smug looks whenever we had eye contact. Once, she even mouthed to me, “I told you so.”
During football practice, he would be given the cold shoulder, always standing by himself, getting dirty looks from the guys. I had requested them not to hurt him, but they left him alone. I didn’t enjoy seeing him lonely, but wherever I went, the boys would follow me protectively. When we did teamwork, no one would pass the ball to him unless they had to, as Coach Keel would start getting suspicious. The defenders did the minimal amount of coverage required when they were put on the same team as Alex. I would only talk to him strictly about football, and he dared not say anything else with the others hovering around me, watching him like a hawk. I was the only who would pass the ball willingly to him, as our positions were closely tied together and I didn’t want to jeopardise our chances or winning future matches by becoming distant. No one would help him when he got hurt, unless the coach instructed them to. I avoided eye contact, because he could communicate with me just by looking at me with those eyes of his.
I was like the living dead. My face was blank, empty, expressionless. I was covering up my grief, but I was not forcing myself to smile either. There was simply nothing to smile about. It felt like part of me had left, like I was incomplete.
One day the boys had to meet Coach Keel for some update. I didn’t want to face him, so they offered to tell the coach that I wasn’t feeling well. Miranda had chess practice while Sean and the others had basketball practice. I had just come out of the restroom and was making my way back to my room when I heard a boy call my name.
“Liz Pearson?”
I turned around to face a tall muscular boy, blond hair and blue eyes. He was the Ken of the Barbies, generic and the male version of them. I recognised him somewhere…
“Matthew Longman?” I asked, my voice still devoid of any emotion.
“How did you find out?”
“School newspaper. Your wrestling match was on front page.”
“Yeah.” He grinned.
“What do you want?”
“Well…” He ran his fingers through his hair, reminding of that time Alex had done it and looked much cuter doing it than this guy. In truth, I had never stopped thinking of him. Everything still reminded me of him, but I learnt to conceal my pain better. It didn’t mean that it was gone. “I was hoping you would go to the monochrome prom with me. The one that’s a week away.”
“I know when it is. I’m not dumb. Sorry, but I’ve already been asked.”
“By who?” He pressed for an answer.
“By the football team, except him.”
“Ah yes, the little incident regarding Alex Taylor. You can just ditch the team, you see them everyday.” He grinned, trying to look sexy. “Plus, if you give me a chance, I’ll make you forget that talentless loser once and for all.”
I was sad about the incident, but I wasn’t mad at Alex. He had a choice, it just wasn’t me. I had no right to be angry. I just couldn’t face him. This didn’t mean that some Matthew Longman could go around insulting him.
“Alex is not a talentless loser.” I grimaced, for once, showing some sign of feeling. “He is the captain of the football team and an excellent centre forward.”
“Whatever. I am the captain of the wrestling team. And unlike him, I won’t upset you, if you’ll give me a shot to prove it.”
“You’re already upsetting me, Longman. Please go away.”
“Not until you say yes.” He started to advance towards me, backing me up against a wall and placing his arms on either sides of me so that I was trapped. “Come on, we’ll have a lot of…fun. You could wear a miniskirt again. I saw you the other day. You were totally hot…”
His face was inching closer to mine, the close proximity between our faces was making claustrophobic.
“You mind moving your face away? You’re making me suffocate.” I shifted uneasily on the spot.
He didn’t listen. His face was so close now that I could see the fine hairs of his eyebrow. Shit. This idiot wants to kiss me! Why did the place have to be empty?! Someone help! Oh God, he’s already puckering up…
I was rooted to the ground frozen. One heartbreak and I seemed to totally forget how to fight back. He was about to plant his grotesque lips to mine when someone yelled.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Alex demanded, standing at the end of the hallway, his arms folded, looking at Matthew.
“None of your business, Taylor. You’re not wanted here so get lost.”
“Let go of her. She doesn’t want you here.” His voice deadly, as he started advancing towards us.
“How do you know she doesn’t want me here?” Matthew sneered.
“Oh wow, if the way she’s recoiling from you isn’t obvious enough.” Alex spat, injecting venom into his voice.
“Why you-”
Once again, with testosterone levels running high, the guys started throwing punches. What is it with boys and violence?
“BOYS!!!” I hissed, breaking them apart and holding them by the scruffs of their shirt to stop them from tearing each other’s throats out. Waves of electricity ran through the arm I was grabbing Alex with. Matthew did not have anything serious or superficial injuries, though he was wincing and rubbing his head. Alex wasn’t so lucky. Fighting with a wrestler had its consequences and in his case, though not very serious, there was a red patch under his eye that would perceivably develop into a blue black bruise in the course of the hours if left untreated. I released them both.
“Longman, get out of here. Now.” I sighed.
“Fine. You’ll regret saying no to me, miserable slut.” Then he stormed off, launching his fist at a locker on the way to vent his anger.
“He called you a slut! He going to pay when I-”
“I suggest you go see the nurse, get that eye checked.” I cut him off.
“Liz, I-“
“Did you come here after meeting Coach?” I asked.
He looked bewildered at my weird change of topic. “Yes, but Liz-“
“Then I suggest you go now, because the boys will be looking for me any moment and I don’t want you to sustain another injury.”
“Can you just listen to me Liz, I-“
“Alex, please. Just go.”
His face fell into a look of deep hurting. “Okay. I’m sorry, Liz. I never ever meant to hurt you.” Whispering that, he shambled off, shoulders hunched.
I didn’t make it back into my room in time before the tears escaped.
