mistakes

some mistakes you make you never can take back what you did you can never rewind time you have to do what's right and make thing's right again.Running away from problems is never the answer to problems.You got to give it one day at a time.You got to keep your chin up and do what is right is not always makes everybody happy.Sometimes you have to do waht makes you happy.What makes you feel better this waht you have to do in life.We all make mistkes but you have to pick up the pieces and get your life back on track.You have to move on and start smiling and laughing once again you have to do waht you can to move on so strong. Everything goes wrong in your life you have to pick up the pieces and go on with your life you know what is right form wrong.You have to move on and do waht is right adn go on with your life.No more cutting,No more Drama,no more of crying,no more miskates that can hurt you in the long run no more of this. No more eing mean sometimes to people.You are Danielle and if none likes you that is there fault not your's no more regrets you are Danielle and that's all that matters

earlychildhood wrote:some mistakes you make you never can take back what you did you can never rewind time you have to do what's right and make thing's right again.Running away from problems is never the answer to problems.You got to give it one day at a time.You got to keep your chin up and do what is right is not always makes everybody happy.Sometimes you have to do waht makes you happy.What makes you feel better this waht you have to do in life.We all make mistkes but you have to pick up the pieces and get your life back on track.You have to move on and start smiling and laughing once again you have to do waht you can to move on so strong. Everything goes wrong in your life you have to pick up the pieces and go on with your life you know what is right form wrong.You have to move on and do waht is right adn go on with your life.No more cutting,No more Drama,no more of crying,no more miskates that can hurt you in the long run no more of this. No more eing mean sometimes to people.You are Danielle and if none likes you that is there fault not your's no more regrets you are Danielle and that's all that matters

Erase this completely. There was no style, no meter, no fluency, no imagery, nothing besides a...rant, really. That was it - a rant. Here is some advice to get you started in cleaning up this mess:

1) Delete everything and start from scratch. You can keep the idea but please condense this rambling into concise lines that have much more weight to them. Right now, this is very long but very thin. You need to make it short and heavy so that the reader can actually feel a sense of realization when reading every word.
2) Spell simple words such as "what" correctly; if you can't do this, then how exactly do you expect people to take you seriously? While I'm at this, I might as well add that you need to revamp all the grammar in this poem. You've capitalized randomly and ended sentences almost as if you got bored every five seconds and stuck a period in there so you could continue on to another line.
3) Read up on some poets who know what they're doing. I'm not going to suggest any, because I'm not sure what style of writing you're trying to represent here. Just read, please.

And who's Danielle? If this poem was made specifically for someone, then...show it to that someone and don't throw it here where nobody can understand it. Having obscure references to friends or family will only confuse the reader. If you really care about what the world thinks (which I'm assuming is why you posted it here) then let the world know what's going on.

This belongs to some horrible facebook note to all of your friends. There are thousands of them, all saying the same meaningless thing.

"You are the all-seeing all-dancing crap of the world."

Take hope or don't.

What was that?
At least try some proper grammar.

This isn't a new version of face book, it's actually about writing, and that was not it.

My GOSH everyone! You guys are being so mean! I mean really. It was a good thought. It does need stanzas though. I could hardly read it because it ran on so long. But, get that thing in stanzas and broaden your vocab and you've got something. You really do.

BTW: Galerius, you are so TOUGH.