A couple more of my poems.

8 posts
Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1349
Reviews 11

This first poem has no name making it unintitled[humor ha ha]. But in all seriousness it's about love you'll see what I mean in a few seconds when you see it.

Morning breeze beneath our feet
Love is beneath these bed sheets
Sun is gloating
Above our heads
Where love is made
Expelled is dread
In our arms we feel at one
Twisting & turning
Yawning & Yurning
We teach each other
But were both learning
Triumphantly we stand and gather
What is wrong?
Nothings the matter
This is love in purest form
It has no hurt
It has no harm


This next poem is the least to say crazy. But for that reason I absolutely love it and think you all will do the same. Because so many meanings can be brought out of it, it's going to tap down to the deepest crevasse's of your brains. Yet while it tends to hold that same child hood humor that we all simply enjoy.
This piece is abstractual, and your going to need to read it twice.

Boredome
Fire balls
and plastered walls
monkeys hang fron bathroom stalls
dresser monsters
fight in gauntlets
taunting me with razored hot lips
books with no pages abd endless chapters
record this battle tap to clatter
bangs and booms
witches with brooms
we dump out bodies to build the tombs
some retreat they keep attacking
some attacking some keep laughing
muffin stew
a nine tailed jew
100 different shades of blue
woo there is a train
but it has 6 arms and gilded panes
pens are knives and knives are pens
chocolate cake, when does this help
please help us lord
oh my god im really bored.


The next few are poems i wrote a year + ago there not great but maybe you guys could find joy out of them.

The Cause

If theres a cause to live for it is you,
you make the sun shine and the sky so blue.

If theres a cause to die for it is you, you create
my happiness the with you just flew.

If theres a cause to give it all, i'd give up all my wonders
just for you though baby because i love you.

Nothing, lasts forever
Nothing, lasts forever all great things will surely die.

Your friends, your family, loved ones will surely pass you by

Even Rome fell the greatest civilization of all time.

If theres a one thing I can say that is right, that this is true baby I dont want it to be prove me wrong would you?


Respect
Respect is not give it is earned,
this is a less i have learned

Prove yourself dont cry about it,
surely than you'll leave without it.

Worthiness is on the track, but most of all...
show respect and you'll get some back.

Those eyes
Those eyes instill my happiness...

I can see my fear my heart, so deep within side.

Surely where my heart resides

* I acctually like this one its short but i think its cute.


It wasnt long ago
It wasn't long ago, when racists ruled the world

It wasn't long ago, there were horses not a car

It wasn't long ago, that were not to far

* another short one but has a good point. That lets people know, that 50-60 years ago things were very very different but than again not so different at all.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 10
Well some could spend years critiquing it because it's so long. An idea would be to make them into separate posts :( Some were good, others were quite simple, but I am not a poet as of yet so my value does not count for much. There were a few spelling and typo errors, but you probably knew that and don't care.
P.S. That random bored one could be classified as stupid by some, but who says that's bad? I like it!
You can only believe what you can't see. If you can see it, you no longer believe it-- you know it.

Even an agnostic believes something, if nothing else than that nothing else is believable. So what do you believe?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2190
Reviews 16
haha these are cute :D
This is a story about a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world.

In every single letter. In every single word. There will be a hidden message about a boy who loves a girl.




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1349
Reviews 11
P.S. That random bored one could be classified as stupid by some, but who says that's bad? I like it!



This where i stood on my poem I looked at it and I honestly sat there puzzled at myself to how I came up with it. And the longer I thought about it and the more I read it I figured out i was entirely wrong on how stupid it was.

Because, it made me absolutely happy to read it. And it was funny and it was sorrowless. And i soon realized that i was probably one of my best poems. I think more or so stupid shit like that with meanings that are hidden are really who I am.

and thank you for your comment.

haha these are cute


Thank-You very much. I like this comment because I acctually think it fits them and when someone gives you a positive comment that you were wanting to get it means more. Thank you.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2190
Reviews 16
Ummm.....I think you made a mistake. You aren't suppose to use cursing language unless it's in the post not the comment....you might want to edit that:D
This is a story about a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world.

In every single letter. In every single word. There will be a hidden message about a boy who loves a girl.




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1349
Reviews 11
Silent music wrote:Ummm.....I think you made a mistake. You aren't suppose to use cursing language unless it's in the post not the comment....you might want to edit that:D



I can't follow what your saying about the cursing or are you just being sarcastic. Sorry, sometimes im a little slow with things care to help out?




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 2926
Reviews 122
Great poems espacially the second one. It was funny but I didn't fined any cursing in your poem. Good Job!
Blood is red
But Heaven is blue
The Devil will fined out
And take you




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1349
Reviews 11
lordgluzman wrote:Great poems espacially the second one. It was funny but I didn't fined any cursing in your poem. Good Job!


Thank you very much thats just the kind of feeling i want from my poems thats what there about. There supposed to be like songs there ment to be read outloud and songs make you happy. I dont try to put metaphores in my poems and stuff like that i just write what i feel. and i like to right cute things and stuff like that to make people happy. ya know?

Thank you for taking the time to read my work its people like you that make me want to write more often and improve myself.



Vampires aren't real, but you know what is? And far more annoying? MOSQUITOS
— LadyMysterio