Life and war

You live and die
You learn to cry
Never know whats
Around the bend
Never know what
could cause an untimely end

Possibilities are endless
Left to us to explore
To find whats behind
Each closed and open door
Only there's not enough time
To find what's in life's core

We face the neverending gore
Each one left to abhor
The individual's everyday war
You can chose to ignore
or imbrace the impracticalities anymore
But thats life.

Ai, can anyone move this. I acidentally clicked on the wrong one. Could someone put this in Other Poetry?

I actually quite liked that.

No, I need to say something a bit more than that don't I?

Well, it was a good enough poem and it was written oaky enough. It didn't grab me and make me think 'wow! This is brilliant!'. It didn't have that fabbiness to it that I love to see in poems, that real feeling, lots of depth and meaning. There was some in there, don't get me wrong. I just wanted to see more there, I wanted it to make me think about the subject.

Sorry if I sounded mean again and, this is only my opinion.

thanks, I know what you mean. Its a bit too broad. I need to focus more on one subject.

Hmm...here's the song with what edits I'd have made...

You live and die
You have to learn to cry
Never know whats
Around that bend
Never know what
could cause an untimely end

Possibilities are endless
Left for us to explore;
To find what's behind
Each closed or open door
Still there's little time
To find what's in life's core

We face the never-ending gore.
Each of us left to abhor;
our individual, everyday wars
You can choose whether to embrace
Or ignore
the frivolous details
But that is life.

Sorry if it's hard to tell what sort of changes I reccomend, but it's hard to look at rhyme and whatnot when it's not altogether...Keep writing!