From the Beginning...The Very Start

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From the Beginning..The Very Start

I knew from the beginning,
The very start…
When all this was new.
Unflawed and thriving.

I knew from the start.
It would come to this,
As I stare down
At your broken heart.

What have I done.
I let it fall.
Broke it into pieces.
You shouldn’t have let go.

I knew from the start
I would never be good enough for you.
My cold heart,
Would see it through.

I knew from the beginning,
The very start.
When I first met you,
That this was all too good…
Too good to be true
Last edited by Dark Star on Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:48 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 34
hmmm...
the anger and sadness really stand out in in this one. i've felt the same at times. feeling you're not good enough for your loved one... knowing that you've failed them... it's a terrible thing. but as a word of encouragement, meaningless as it may seem, i say that it's never really over. everything can be repaired, if you give it the time and care that it requires.

now, about the poem:
you should probably go back and fix some spelling errors, first. i think that spelling mistakes really send the flow flying off of the tracks. also, you should probably diversify your phrases. it may work for you, but i don't find that i like when you alternate between "i knew from the beginning" and "i knew from the start". try to mix it up a little. but if you or anyone else disagrees, just say so. i probably don't know what i'm talking about. but you should keep posting. listen to the critics, and you may find yourself a better poet.
-zalarus



who you become at your worst isn't who you are
— canopy