Do You Mind?

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Do You Mind?

Please do not turn me away,
Because I am only being honest with you.
Do you mind if I stay?
I am only telling you what is true.

One minute you are not listening, the next you are pleading.
Always yakking about your fears,
Then I see that you are bleeding,
And you only hope I will dry you tears.

There is enough pain and sorrow,
That all people suffer at times.
They are always wishing for tomorrow,
Never worrying about their crimes.

So, do you mind if I stay?
Because you know these are only some games people play.




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I honestly don't know how to respond to that...I mean how am I supposed to respond to that. That poem is...it's just what it is... the truth? A smack in the face? I don't know. But I do know this. That poem is a wake up call for me in a way I never imagined. And I mean that too.
Life is what's left when everything is taken from you.




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:shock: I. Don't. Know. What. To. Say. That poem was.....just......amazing. The content was very nice. Same with the message that you were trying to get across to some people. Very well done. :D
This is a story about a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world.

In every single letter. In every single word. There will be a hidden message about a boy who loves a girl.




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A very pretty poem, sad and wistful. :cry: However, I would like to know what you mean by "do you mind if I stay?" Is the poem about a boyfriend and girlfriend? of course I guess that's a thing with poetry: vague meanings and metaphors. might I suggest that rather than "yakking" you use something slightly more graceful like "complaining" or "sobbing?" You might also employ more imagery, it would enhance the bbeauty and sadness of the poem. Overall, though, it has potential and with a little touching up it could be very good. :)
You must be swift as the coursing river,
With all the force of a great typhoon,
With all the strength of a raging fire,
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.




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Before I say anything I just need to get it across that I'm new here. Okay, anyway I though the depth of your poem, the meaning behind the words, the way it all flowed together was just... WOW. Poetry comes from the soul, the heart. Some people write poetry from the mind, you didn't. This was ALL soul. In a plain way of putting it... YOUR POETRY ROCKS!!! lol/ :D
I wish I lived in a world where whispers were screams.




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Great poem courtney! That was great. It has a nice flow and evokes emotion. Truely beautiful poem. Wish I was that talented. AlthoughI agree,I think you should use something more graceful than yakking. Pm me when you post something new. *hits keyboard* Stupid spacebar!
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.




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Jesus. This applies to me in a way I didn't think possible. I think that I'm the person that the poem is referring to. Very emotional, very well executed and very well done indeed. I congratulate you, madam. Nice job!




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Thnks! :D I really don't know how I got my feelings down on paper. Thnks for the criticism is really helps! I hope to also post a story that I am writing, but it may take a couple of days. :wink:

Everything may be going black, but I'm still glowing!



I say, in matters of the heart, treat yo' self.
— Donna, Parks & Rec