. I have made alterations and changed names but please tell me if it's not clear enough!!!
Stage lights come up on a freezeframe of the actors. Center stage has been set up to show a minibus, with the seats increasing in height as they travel further backstage. The driving seat is empty but on the row behind sits the three teachers, Mr McCarthy, Mrs Smith and Mrs Lewis. Behind them sit Sarah, Helen, Lisa and Emily (some of these girls wear headphones and others are peering over the teachers heads, their eyes focused on the front of stage-left). On the backrow sit three boys - Mark, Paul and Nick - who are equipped with spitballs and paper airplanes. In front of them, two more boys - Simon and Luke - one of which (Simon) is looking rather ill. On the other side of the row sits Lauren. She is alone and seems unaware of what is going on as her head is buried in a book.
At the front of stage-left, an elderly lady is lying on the floor unconcious, surrounded by several other worried looking pensioners. A man is in a phonebox next to them, he is obviously the minibus driver. The actors on the minibus start to act whilst the others remain in a freezeframe.
HELEN: Can't they just roll her over?
Sarah cranes her neck to get a closer look at the old woman as Helen slouches sulkily.
SARAH: Helen! How can you say that?
HELEN: Well it's true.
MRS SMITH: Quiet girls! That lady could have been seriously hurt, show a little compassion.
LUKE: She does have a point though, Miss. This is taking forever!
EMILY: Yeah, can't we go now?
MRS LEWIS: For the final time, we cannot get passed without running her legs over. You'll just have to wait for the ambulance to arrive.
MR MCCARTHY: Bloody narrow roads!
MARK: More like bloody old pensioners, 'ey, Sir?
MRS LEWIS: Mark! Wash your mouth out!
EMILY: "Bloody" ain't a swear word, Miss
MARK: Yeah! And Mr McCarthy said it too! Didn't you, Sir?
Mr McCarthy turns away shaking his head and takes a secret swig of whiskey from a small bottle and hides it back in his jacket pocket.
LUKE: Miss! Miss!
Sick noises can be heard from one of the rows and Simon has his head bent down low.
SARAH: Mrs Smith, Simon's been sick!
All three teachers let out a sigh of impatience
HELEN: Urgh! Miss, he got some on my bag! That's gross!
MRS LEWIS: Oh, Helen, don't fuss! We'll clean it up. Mrs Smith, could you -
Before she can finish she is inturupted
MRS SMITH: If I'm not mistaken it is Mr McCarthy's turn to clean up after the students.
Both teachers turn to face Mr McCarthy
LISA: Hurry up, Sir! It's starting to smell!
EMILY: But Mr McCarthy never cleans up Simon's sick.
Mr McCarthy turns around to face Simon
MR MCCARTHY: Well, boy, it looks like you're going to have to put up with it until we get back to school.
The boys on the back row burst into laughter but the girls are disgusted
HELEN: But, Sir! My bag!
MRS LEWIS: For goodness sakes, Mr McCarthy! Have you no sense of obligation?
SARAH: What's "obligation" mean, Miss?
PAUL: It's responsability, Stupid!
EMILY: Leave out, Paul
Paul blushes a little and sits back on his seat. Mrs Lewis is starting to look a little flustered and pushes her glasses further up her nose
SARAH: So how comes you know all these long words, Miss?
LISA: Cos she's a teacher. That's why.
Enter Driver.
It was amazing for a first try, and very entertaining as well. I would have prefered a better ending - it was a little awkward and adrupt. I didn't notice any errors or holes in your sentence structure, so great job! 