You say nothing to me.

(just experimenting with structure here, so please look at it objectively )

Cut me with your silence!


...



Sharper than any word could be polished to.

You used to speak with me a lot; now never.

I see you occasionally in the hallways of our school, passing glances.

That -
Bore-
In-
To-
Me-

Why?

Just a look, with no malice or hate... Just a look.

I'd give anything for an insult, something. Anything...
Say something to me.

'ello

I haven't ever seen a poem set up like this, or anything really like this actually so good job for being unique

As for the actual poem it was alright I think. Yeah its about a sad lonely person who wants attention from a certain someone but this leaves me craving more information about the situation. if you polished it up a bit more then it would really be a good poem!

Hello there! I love new ideas, so let's see how yours turns out, eh?

kris wrote:(just experimenting with structure here, so please look at it objectively )

Cut me with your silence! I like it. It's abrupt and clear figuratively.


...



Sharper than any word could be polished to. This to seems like it's hanging out a bit to me, like it's not completely necessary.

You used to speak with me a lot; now never. I've got a feeling you could say this better. Just a thought.

I see you occasionally in the hallways of our school, passing glances.

That -
Bore-
In-
To-
Me-

Why?

Just a look, with no malice or hate... Just a look.

I'd give anything for an insult, something. Anything...
Say something to me.

Very intriguing. I think the breaks worked out nicely, accenting each word. And I can see what you're saying. It's like a comment on a very human reaction. Let's just say I'm feeling it, my friend.

Well done!
--Anna

Very well done, I love the way you're showing that being ignored by the person you love can hurt more than having them insult you.
Please write more