Paragraph Assignment

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This is assignment number seven of chapter two from The Lively Art of Writing by Lucile Vaughan Payne. This is merely the assignment and does not necessarily represent the opinion of the author. (Honestly, I haven't decided what to think about this, but since I'm taking Latin American Spanish from Rosetta Stone, and I'll probably never move to Mexico, my opinion doesn't particularly matter):


Rosetta Stone's Latin American Spanish course efficiently prepares its students to verbally communicate in Mexico. One may argue that Rosetta Stone's program cannot compare with learning Spanish by traveling to Mexico, but there are several barriers to pure, untainted verbal communication that merely “moving to Mexico” cannot address. Such barriers are other forms of communication: body posture, facial expression, eye-to-eye contact—all natural to typical human communication, but detrimental to developing verbal communication. When allowed to use such other forms of communication, the communicator may unwittingly convey what he desires by methods other than words. Obviously, if one is communicating without using words, the communication is not verbal. In Rosetta Stone, these barriers are all but removed. Rosetta Stone is not capable of sensing those extra-oral forms of communication, so the student has no choice but to use oral communication: speaking, hearing, writing, and reading—all of which enforce verbal communication skills. So, maybe I should take back my “cannot compare” statement regarding verbal communication. Rosetta Stone and “moving to Mexico” can compare: the former tramples the latter.
Last edited by Whisper91 on Mon Sep 29, 2008 1:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
Motive, according to & through Triple G, determines value.

Isaac Mullins Copyright © 2008




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Let's see, "cannot" to can not.

And I believe the last sentence is not right, it makes no sense to contradict yourself. Maybe go back over this, and string your ideas together better.
"Show us, don't tell us!" They say, but sadly I realize I'm a storyteller. When I cross over and accept maturity, when I want to change then maybe I'll be willing to show people my prose and not tell them. As a writer I have to grow. :)




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I just removed "method" from in-between (ha-ha, another example of my "issue") "former" and "tramples" in the last sentence. Whether using "cannot" in place of "can not" is proper or improper (grammatically or stylistically), I would appreciate proof or explanation.

(I wouldn't normally be this picky about critiques, but this is a school assignment. It is more goaled toward knowing what should and shouldn't be done, less so toward developing style.)
Motive, according to & through Triple G, determines value.

Isaac Mullins Copyright © 2008




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I think it was mostly fine, you can help yourself more than I can. [ Cause I don't know much about grammar lol]


Besides I think the suggestions you made can improve it! :)
"Show us, don't tell us!" They say, but sadly I realize I'm a storyteller. When I cross over and accept maturity, when I want to change then maybe I'll be willing to show people my prose and not tell them. As a writer I have to grow. :)



they got that magical iridescence that you don't expect to be on a sky rat y'know
— Ari11