Beautiful Crimson

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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 15
Ok, I'm not sure if this is even a poem! but please tell me what you think!

I smiled, sickly as the blood trickled down her neck.
Beautiful crimson.
Her skin had never been so white before,
probably because she was dead.
She was the most beautiful person I had ever killed,
But I didn't feel guilty.
I never did.
I just felt dead inside.

My ability to feel had left me long ago,
when my family died
because of her
the beautiful bitch I had just killed.
I was sure I'd feel better after she was dead
But ....
I just felt worse.
More empty;
even though I was empty to begin with.

What now?, I thought.
I could run,
to where?
I could turn myself in,
but why?

I stared down at the sharp blade I held,
encrusted with diamonds,
the real thing.
What a wonderful way to die, I thought.
I lay her body down on the floor,
blood still rapidly gushing from her neck.

I sat on the bed where she once lay and stared at my shaking hands.
It's really over.
I didn't have the guts to kill myself,
so I waited for someone to come kill me,
her husband should be awake soon.
I hope.
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid, and deeds left undone.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 11
Wow, I loved it, the portrayal of the emotions was very strong and, I'm no expert, but I don't think there was anything wrong with it =).
Let's Dance to Joy Division
And celebrate the irony,
Everything is going wrong,
But we're so happy!




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 203
This is so sick and twisted that I love it (: good job and from my expertese it is poetry
We're meant to be one
I know we are...
If I am the Sky
Then you are my star... ™




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Gender Female
Points 1650
Reviews 287
This was really good, no GREAT! I love how twisted it is. Well done. :D
check out my deviantart account ^_^
http://maki121.deviantart.com/




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 15
Hey,
Thank you all for your good reviews. I really appreciate it.
C.C
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid, and deeds left undone.




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Gender Female
Points 2242
Reviews 695
OMG! I loved this and usually I don't like poems that don't rhyme but this was fantastic. I mean you started well and then it just got really morbid at the end...which is good. Sorry I couldn't be more of a help.
Keep Writing,
~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.



There is a difference between being poor and being broke: broke is temporary; poor is eternal.
— Robert Kiyosaki