Deleted.

Hiya, Merry! I am growing quite fond of this story! This is my favorite chapter so far. And the way James glares at Sophia….hmm…I wonder what that is about…?

I guess I will just have to wait until the next chapter

“James? Is everything all right?” Said the soft voice of his mother.

Small “s” on “said”

“Yes, dear.” Aunt Caroline replied with her husband pulling out the seat for her.

Comma instead of a period after “dear”

What fine soup this is Caroline.

Comma after “is”

“It's fine Helena.”

Comma after “fine”

“Well it's time for us to go, John.” The Major said sadly.

Comma instead of a period after “John”
Small “t” on “the”

No more Sophia.

Comma after “more”

All of this individuals were grammatical things, so no worries there

Keep up the good work, Merry!

i wonder why James was so rude to Sophia. and oh, i hope Helena isn't in love with James if he's one of the suitor for Sophia. i don't want any hard feelings between those two girls.

well, i am off to read the third chapter part one and then part won. i hope you add more soon. i like your story.


good luck with your writing.

This is a seriously great story you got going on here!! It's so addictive, I can't think of any ways in which to improve it at all & your characters are so engaging, I want to immediatly know more about them, especially James and why he was glaring at Sophia ... hmm ... well I guess I shall have to read on to find out
Lucyy xx