Color

Hi Thewriter08. Welcome to YWS. Before I review this, I just want to point out the 2:1 rule: you need to post two reviews before you post one of your own works so please review two things. If you have any questions on reviewing or need help with it, I'll be glad to help.

Anything I put in bold is a suggestion.

You don't like the color of my skin.
Because its blacker then yours.

Then should be Than.

So in your eyes shes a whore.

She's

Don't play the race card they always say.

Don't play the race card, they always say.

The color of our skin is no longer a problem to them.
That might be so why cant I see more people like me on T.V.

You seem to repeat yourself here by saying that the color of our skin is no problem but affirm what you just said by saying that it might be.
cant should be can't and T.V. should be TV.

I'm not asking for nothing free no handouts.
Just looking for a better way so I can get out.

I'm not asking for anything free.
Get out of what? The speaker doesn't mention that she/he is in something til this last line.

Overall:
Your grammar could use some work, some of your wording is a little bit wierd, and you need to find a way to add in whatever the speaker is in so we don't read the poem and say "They were in something?" but I think it could be a good poem if you clean it up some. I don't understand the line rhym--two of the lines rhym, the rest of them don't. Is it free verse?
I don't generally critique poetry so that's all I can think of but I think it has potiental to be good.

I did like it, by the way.

Please don't take any of the critism personally; I'm only trying to help you make it better.

PM me if you need anything.

-alwaysawriter

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